The Diary of Saima I am Saima, a Muslim girl brought up in a traditional but privileged atmosphere. In the proceeding lines I am going to narrate an important incident of my life. Even when I was pretty grown-up and stepped into my adolescent my Baba (Father), a retired bureaucrat, still considered me a child. He was unusually careful in my upbringing. Sometimes I felt that Baba restricts my freedom. But at the inner core of my heart I knew that he loves me, unconditionally. After graduating from Sophia College I took a serious stance on my career. I nurtured a passionate desire of going to civil services. I was quite good at basics. So I decided for self-preparation. However, in economics paper I needed some guidance. Baba immediately talked about it with a PhD student of economics living in my vicinity. The man was the son of my Baba’s closest friend. So he politely agreed to devote an hour. My tutor, Nusrat, was a young man in his late twenties. Almost three years elder to me. On the first day Baba introduced me to him very enthusiastically. Unlike his general stoic disposition today there was smile on his face. It might have been tempted by a feeling of admiration for the scholarly eminence of my tutor. Or may be out of an exalted spirit of pride for my own ambitious pursuit. Nusrat was drawing graphs on paper to explain some theory. He was earnestly immersed in his duty as a tutor. However I was not able to concentrate on his subjective explanations. I was secretly reading the amicability of his face. The decency of his gestures. The fluency of his accent. The naturalness of his intellect. And the impressive sobriety with which his eyes were directed towards the notebook. Once while attempting to turn the pages of notebook his hand touched mine and I felt a strange sensation tickling through my veins. Frankly stating --- I was getting attracted at the profound aura of Nusrat. In due course of time I grew a settled affection for Nusrat. Our interaction turned friendly. My love for him matured. I started terribly missing him. It was a Sunday evening. Nusrat was teaching me. We were seated in the drawing room. Baba was out for his evening stroll. Nusrat was seated close to me. I could smell the sweet fragrance of his perfume. It delighted my senses. His cute mannerism had already induced in me a deep fondness for him. I had started dreaming him as my soul-mate. I cannot really clarify what impelled our next move. But the other moment we were embraced under each other’s arms. Both of us felt shy and hesitated but the embrace was soothing, and so irrepressible. I was feeling solaced and protected under his arms. The whole world appeared to me converged in between his broad shoulders. I could feel the warmth of his chest. We kissed each other. First gently and then passionately. Slowly, under a spell of natural captivation our bodily distance effaced. And it reached to the epitome. The hesitation melted and all limitations surpassed. The next day Nusrat proposed me for marriage. For me his marriage proposal was a sanctification of our physical relation. Our previous day bodily engagement was undoubtedly carnal but it was maturely concrete and suffused with mutual understanding. Not a thoughtless act of perverseness. It was a symbiotic affair with implicit vision and committed directness. Initially Baba appeared perturbed at our decision. He contemplated for some days. The next week he surprised us by arranging a formal engagement party at home. Perhaps his apparent conservatism surpassed his decisive judgement. He declared the date of our marriage. It was scheduled on 10th of December. Afterwards, Baba got busy in planning and arranging for the marriage. It was on 30th of November when I along with Nusrat went for a walk on the beach. The air was relaxing and atmosphere charming. Nusrat was in shorts and a navy blue tee-shirt. We held each other’s hand and stepped towards the beach. The coolness of water and the dampness of sand underneath invigorated us. We were advancing in the water when my eyes fell on a giant tidal wave speeding forward with violent vehemence. I was panicked beyond description. The abrupt ghost like wave reached so closer that we were not left with any choice to escape. We firmly tightened the grip of each other’s hands. And in a flash of second we were engulfed in that murderous tidal wave. It was in the hospital ward where I regained my consciousness. That disastrous wave had thrown me at the shore side where some fishermen saved me. Nusrat was still missing. I went paranoid and my life shattered. A month later I was detected pregnant. I was indecisive about the future course of my life. Baba went disturbed to a pathetic extent. He secluded himself into a room, contemplating weirdly on the obscure chemistry of human life. Or perhaps perplexingly waiting for Nusrats return. The child inside my womb was the symbol of our mutual love. Perhaps nature had ordained me to bring that life to earth. And that’s why nature had deliberately rescued the two souls in my body. So against all oddities I decided to bear the child. Besides, my heart carried a strong conviction that Nusrat would return one day. In the month of October I delivered my baby. His face exactly similar to Nusrat. The same broad forehead and round eyes. The same sloppy chin and stout patrician nose. How happy Nusrat would have felt upon seeing his son. Upon holding and caressing him. But nature’s will is supreme which sometimes crushes our wish. It was a usual summer day. I along with my baby sat under the shade of a maple tree, just in front of our house. My baby had started stammering some words. I was oiling and massaging him. Suddenly a group of three people including one lady approached me. I felt joyfully stunned upon seeing the one frail looking man among them. This was Nusrat. I felt my heart pacified and my agony evaporated. It was the rebirth of a new life for me. An ambrosial miracle. The lady among them informed that they had found him on the sea-shore in an unconscious and badly injured state. It was just a week ago when he had regained his memory. I tightly hugged Nusrat. Never to let him go from my life. I could feel the wetness of tears flowing down his eyes drenching my bare shoulder. My conviction and faith in Almighty re-strengthened. Now, when I am writing these lines everything has fallen into place. Nusrat has recovered his health. Baba has stopped brooding in obscurity. My baby has grown three years old and engages us with his sweet naughtiness. The house seems lively and cheerful with his lovely playfulness. And to my utter happiness I have finally qualified my civil services exam in the second attempt. My love though underwent tough examination but ultimately it returned victorious, I suppose...!!! Penned By : Sachin Singh
Posted on: Thu, 31 Oct 2013 17:51:42 +0000
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