The Easter story according to Barton moss And Jesus carries his cross as the roman centurions were yelling keep moving,keep moving.Yet he walked slower,and being an anarchist he yelledI will die at my own pace not when the fascist state tells me too! And centurion Keyhoe saidhave you been drinking Jesus?Youve had a drink havent you? Then Jesus was taken to see Herod who found him guilty of obstructing the highway,and centurion delboy whipped him for his own good. In the meantime the whole thing was livestreamed to the people of galilee by tristanus woddicus,while St. Peter was arrested for aggravated trespass because he remained stationary at the foot of the cross for too long.And the roman chancellor georgius mean us taxed the feeding of the five thousand at the tea tent. Ian judas Stuart saidthis shalt have no other god than peel holdings,not this hippie with interesting clothes,and thou shalt not sleep upon the moss nor shall thout build an encampment there And lo,the earth shook,and the Red Sea turned green,and Jesus bowed his head and said G G GMP herods private army The temple was shaken by an incoming rig from igasimus fracktus,but the shepherds refused their right to remain silent and their enraged sheep drove igasimus out of Israel and Into the desert. And god did send a mighty lock in to test the roman steel,and it did rain protection from the sky and their chariots were frozen in their tracks. And the Christians retreated to a grass verge outside Golgotha to have meetings about meetings. Jesus finally turned up three days later ringing a bell,everyone thought he was yelling lorry but he was actually just saying sorry... Centaurian Maximus wigumus said thou hats burnt all thy bridges young hippy,this is roman land and thou shall be thrown to lions at Trafford colosseum. Centaurian bigus tosspotus cantrellus cut short his bathing in asses milk in order to attend the trial on the moss and to ensure that a steady flow of eunuchs perverted the course of justice. Twopippus had other ideas,he ordered centurion prickus gengeus to challenge the hippies to a twig twiddle to the death.being non violent they simply used their twigs to build a barricade across the arena. This confused and upset genge so much he threw himself to the lions in shame,and as teeth gripped his centurion neck,his last thoughts were I cant dance,I cant talk and he certainly wasnt going to walk. And to this day people celebrate this Easter victory by doing the Salford shuffle on footpaths everywhere....... Happy Easter GMP
Posted on: Sat, 19 Apr 2014 20:30:04 +0000
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