“The Five Stages of Internet Loss” I lost my Internet connection a week ago. My initial reaction was DISBELIEF. “What the heck? What do you mean ‘Looking up Yahoo….?’” Then it was DENIAL. “This isn’t happening!” Then came PANIC. “Ohgodohgodohgod, what am I going to do????” EMOTIONAL DISTRESS soon followed. My pulse raced. I broke out in a sweat. I was cut off from the world. I was helpless. I ran around in circles trying to figure out what to do. Here in SoCal we are experiencing “June Gloom” due to the marine layer that comes in every morning. So we never know if the day is going to be cool or warm. I check the Weather Channel website everyday to see what I’m going to wear: shorts or long pants. But without a connection, I had no way of knowing. This was my first crisis. How was I going to tell what the weather was going to be like? We’re going out to dinner soon and I have no idea what to wear because I can’t log on to the Weather Channel. And then a brilliant idea hit me. I went outside. Yep, long pants. My second crisis involved research. How was I going to look up word spellings and definitions without Google? That was when I remembered this room in my house that’s full of books made of paper. I found a really big one called a dictionary and it’s literally full of words! But how was I going to find out when King Kamehameha united the Hawai‘ian Islands? So I looked at these big brown matching books called Encyclopedia Britannica and they’re full of all kinds of neat information and pictures and maps and everything! But what about email? How am I going to communicate with friends.? Oh wait, that’s what that thing in the kitchen is for. The one that’s always ringing and people saying they have great insurance offers for me. I dial a number and I hear a friend say, “Hello?” The next stage of Internet Loss was one of BLISS. I was back to books. I was going outside. I wasn’t checking the news every ten minutes. I was talking to friends. And hey, I didn’t miss the latest photos of Kate Middleton’s baby bump, I found myself not caring what was up with the Kardashians today. Heavenly! But I had to use a friend’s computer for my Facebook and personal website access, and that was not so blissful. So I bit the bullet and called the telephone guy, and he came out and got my Internet back up and running. I’m connected to the world again. But it was nice there for a while.
Posted on: Fri, 21 Jun 2013 14:00:12 +0000
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