* The Goulish Forty-Yard Dash by Dave Stackelberg I was strollin west Omaha, on Halloween night, When Devil came out in flames, from kitchen fire that ingite! Then, my eyes caught a glimpse, of ol Dracula, In high heels and curlers, and a push-up bra!! It made me dash! It did the forty-yard dash!! Yes, did the dash! While my teeth I did nash!! It made me dash! Oh, I think it gave me a Rash!! In ten second flash! I did the forty-yard dash!!! Found a corner store open so, I rushed inside, I then slammed the door, to find a place to hide! But, Escape I had not, for soon I was engulfed, By the bloody family of some drug store howlin Werewolf!! So, I did dash! Again, did the forty-yard dash!! But, I took some cash, Which, I had no where to stash! So again, I dashed! Oh! Do not at me lash!! Yes! I stole cash! Tripped on a floor display, my leg I s-o-o-o-o Gashed!!! Oh, the night was NOT fun! To home, I limped as I run!! Wanted this night oh, so bad to end... Before it had ever just BEGAN!!!! My house was in sight, as my bleeding lessened, But, what happed next, I bet NOBODYS guessin! When I saw at the door, my mother-in-law, My eyes bulged out and, I dropped my whole jaw!! (Cause,) She looked so brash... Standin by my window sash! She looked so brash... So, I searched for holy-water to splash! Oh, with me, shed clash! So, I quickly jumped in the trash! (Since,) She looked so brash! And, I now have a prickly heat rash!!! (Still,) Out from her vocals, there came such a screech, It made ones ears bleed, like a blood-sucking leech! As she opened her lips, I trembeled at her glare, She spoke, Come clean up this mess, fore, I kick your derriere!! Oh, My day shed dashed! What more pain can I ask!! My hopes shed slashed! For her, such an easy task!! My dreams are crashed! (Oh!) My life before my flashed! (So,) I fell on my ash! Yes, fell on my beautiful ash!! Now, everythings cool, healed one hundred percent, No need for you your pity, for me to be lent! For you, this too, may someday just be, No longer MY story but, your own re-a-li-ty!!! And, Youll do the dash! Yeah, do the forty-yard dash!! Said, do the dash! While your teeth you will nash!! Youll do the dash! It may just give YOU a Rash!! In ten seconds flash! Oh! Youll do the forty-yard dash!!! youtube/watch?v=sGS6bxRLuQs
Posted on: Wed, 29 Oct 2014 10:03:36 +0000