The Holidays are the hardest times for those who are no contact with their toxic family members, exes, etc. Please know that while yes, it does feel weird and wrong to go against tradition, or spend holidays alone or with new people, it is not as horrible or scary as it may seem. Others may try to make you feel guilty for setting boundaries and maintaining them even during the holidays. People may disagree or look down on you. The narcissists flying monkeys might write or call you and attempt to make you feel badly about not associating with people who are consistently harmful to you. It may make you question yourself, or wonder if maybe you ARE being unreasonable or stubborn. But you have to remember why you went no contact with these people in the first place. Completely removing someone from your life who you were once close to is a difficult and painful thing to do. This is most likely not a decision you came to with little thought. These were tough decisions that you made to protect yourself from the narcissists destruction and pain. If someone makes a decision like this, it must be for a good reason, right? Your guilt and obligation will make you want to appease the other family members and spend time with the hateful narcissists to make everyone else happy. But this is something we have to stop doing to ourselves, especially those of us with children of our own. It is a parents responsibility to protect our children AND ourselves from dangerous people and situations. Narcissists are dangerous and toxic to be around. Basically; Do not feel the least bit guilty for spending the holidays without your tormentors. I wish you all luck and love.
Posted on: Fri, 21 Nov 2014 22:06:44 +0000
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