The Intrepid Misadventures of Supreme Overlord the very Irreverent Captain Quirk and the Brat Trekkers #21: The fountain of infernal youth! Lutch, Esther, San, Lenzi and Ronald left the party at the Blue Oyster Club and set out in search of us because the two hours had elapsed. It was Lenzi who spotted us in the park and brought the somewhat disorientated crew in our direction. Ronald seemed as though he had drunk more than the others and he leaned against Lutch for vertical support. ‘Well...well...well...’ exclaimed Lenzi when he saw the beautiful woman, ‘You told us that you were going to search for Margaret and you found this instead...’ ‘We found Margaret!’ Spock stopped him in mid-sentence, ‘she is safely aboard the Brat Packers Delight’. ‘Then who is this lovely lass?’ mumbled Ronald. ‘This...my dear crew is none other than Eve!’ ‘Really?’ Lenzi said, ‘Which Eve are you exactly?’ ‘The real Eve!’ ‘I know you are the real Eve...you look real enough...are you Christmas Eve or New Year’s Eve?’ ‘No...I’m just plain Eve!’ ‘Okay!’ Lenzi mumbled, ‘if you are the real Eve then you must be...’ He started counting something on his fingers and then eventually gave up, ‘you must be very, very old...exactly how old are you?’ ‘I really lost count!’ she admitted, ‘but I’m really old!’ ‘Old enough to be my mother?’ asked Ronald. ‘Older!’ ‘My grandmother?’ ‘Older!’ she laughed. ‘My great grandmother?’ ‘Much older than that!’ ‘My....’ Spock placed his hand on Ronald’s mouth and said, ‘we get the picture!’ ‘How did you manage to keep yourself so young and beautiful?’ Esther asked. ‘Why...the fountain of infernal youth...of course!’ ‘The fountain of infernal youth actually exists!’ Esther proclaimed excitedly, ‘where is it?’ ‘Why do you want to know!’ asked Eve. ‘Which woman would not want infernal youth! And think of the money we could make...I can see it now...we sell it to Ponds...or even Nivea...we could make a fortune!’ Esther gushed. ‘You sound just like some of the child labourers in Mr Samsung’s factories!’ Esther looked puzzled. ‘They came here looking for their lost youth and then jumped into the fountain and lo and behold they were young again...the only problem is that they became so young that they could not figure out what they were doing here in the first place!’ ‘I wouldn’t want that!’ Esther said as her dreams of infernal youth and loads of money faded away into the pond, ‘you mean to tell me that no one figures out how to use the water and not become babbling children again!’ ‘Well...there was the ANC youth league...they managed to use the fountain effectively!’ said Eve. ‘But they act like a group of babbling children!’ ‘Yes...but they came here like that!’ answered Eve impatiently, ‘anyway, I want to get out of here...can you help me!’ ‘Why would you want to get out of here?’ asked San. ‘Are you kidding!’ Eve said, ‘I’ve been here for as long as I can remember and I’m even tempted to eat that damned fruit!’ ‘You mean that you haven’t eaten that fruit as yet?’ asked Lenzi. ‘No’, she answered, ‘we were told never to eat that fruit and I obeyed the instruction to the letter!’ She saw the puzzled look on our faces. ‘Oh...I know what you are thinking but it wasn’t me...It was Adam...he maxed out his credit cards and overdrafts and he was just drowning in the Debt Sea...he owed Mr Samsung so much money and let me not mention his bar tab at the Blue Oyster Bar! I don’t know why he frequents that place...’ ‘So Adam ate the forbidden fruit!’ Spock mused, ‘who would have thought that!’ ‘But why do you want to come with us?’ asked Spock, ‘this place is idyllic!’ ‘My life has been miserable since Adam ate that apple...he wants to do it every day and every night...I can’t stand it anymore...’ ‘Still, this place is idyllic!’ ‘It used to be such a beautiful place until those damn...damn...’ ‘Who?’ asked Lenzi, ‘Muslims...Jews...Hindus, Saddam Hussein...who?’ ‘Those damn housing developers...they just destroyed Edenvale Gardens and built low-cost houses and they are going to destroy this little piece of paradise and build a bloody parking lot... Tune in for the next episode of The Intrepid Misadventures of Supreme Overlord the very Irreverent Captain Quirk and the Brat Trekkers #22: an inconvenient route!
Posted on: Wed, 18 Sep 2013 11:34:58 +0000
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