* The JAYSUS WEPT AWARD (for Weekend 20/10/2013) * Oh no! We are in big trouble! The organisers of the Jaysus Wept Award are in a quandary because they cannot find anyone to present the coveted award to. It will have to remain in the closet until next weekend, and that is a case of egg-on-face for the usually well oiled mechanism behind the weekly ceremony. How has this occurred? you may wonder. Please have patience while I attempt to explain. You see, last Tuesday, all out glorious leaders stood before cameras, or anything they thought even resembled a camera, with this amazingly generous Budget, a Budget that Mr. Feta Noonan claimed would amaze and delight people right across the known universe. His buddy, Shifty Howlin, grinned in a shifty manner and agreed wholeheartedly, nervous, shifty eyes darting here and there. Flashbulbs flashed, furry microphones bobbed about, cameras recorded. Feta and Shifty basked in the glory of the rebirth of the Irish Nations Economy, as in the background Wolfgang Schaeuble, Angela Merkel, Herr Kenny and Eamon Frankfurt nodded their approval. Their frontmen were well prepared. This would be the performance of a lifetime! Feta Noonan did not disappoint. He started with the FG Call To Arms known as Blame Fianna Fail, and went on to deliver a stirring and promising Budget that didnt contain any real damage or hardship for the ordinary Joe Soap. Or did it? Then it was the turn of Shifty Howlin. He too started with his partys Call To Arms, Blame Fianna Fail And Hint That Fine Gael Are To Blame Too, and then launched into a shifty performance. He blustered through heckling for the tiny inconveniences to kids and the elderly in a shifty manner, then looked shifty as he spoke of all the good that was happening in the field of job creation, never once mentioning that most of these jobs were jobs-for-the-boys (and girlfriends of certain TDs), and that the decreasing unemployment figures were skewed by the wonderful courses and schemes they were creating, as well as emigration. He did tend to go on a bit long, in a shifty manner of course, and I thought I could see Herr Kenny and Mr. Frankfurt face-palm a few times, but he got there in the end. This was all followed by Opposition, and I say the word opposition with tongue in cheek, TDs giving their views, and posturing as they always do with no real substance behind the bluster. Feta stared, Shifty shifted, nobody passed any heed. Everyone posed for more flashes, more sound bytes, more video clips, and then they all went home, confident in the belief that they had gotten away with it. However, as day dawned over the Third World European Enclave, the cracks started to appear. Without going into details, because you all know what I am speaking about, it turned out that Mr. Feta Noonan and Mr. Shifty Howlin had just run off with the Oscar Awards for Best Actor and Best Supporting Actor for their performance in How To Hoodwink A Nation. They had managed to conceal an asp in the core of a golden apple, and they felt sure they had gotten away with it. So anyway, it seems all our politicians have gone to ground. They have retreated from the flashbulbs, cameras and furry microphones, gone into the political fog, disappeared. Once again, they have done the dirt on the Irish People, preferring to tip caps to their Troika Buddies than to offer an olive branch of compassion and dignity to those who are paying for their cowardice. Shame, one wonders? Not a chance in hell! Gone! Missing! Silence on the airwaves! Sorry folks, no JAYSUS WEPT AWARD this week. Nobody around to present it to. :( Jaysus Wept!
Posted on: Sun, 20 Oct 2013 13:14:35 +0000
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