~The Journey Home from the Retreat~ (2) As I was about to get off the plane from Santa Fe, the stewardess told me to just run, forget about getting my case and checking it into the next flight, just run, see if your plane might just still be there (i had 15 minutes by this point) so thats what i did. There were 2 of us from that flight that had to make a quick connection, so the other passenger and i just ran like our lives depended on it. We got to where the boards show what gate the flights leave from and by this stage i was in yet another complete panic state, all the running had ramped up the worry and the adrenaline was flowing freely (the seeing of this panic state was my gold! ) The other lady saw how panicked i was and just said, whats your flight number, ill check it for you. This was another of those moments when i realised i had let fear take hold once again. I called in Spirit, asked Him to help me to forgive myself for believing that i needed to fear and i let go once again. I just said, Take it Spirit, you do this for me, which He already was, via this kind soul. She turned to face me with such a look of panic on her face, Your flight has gone she said. In that moment, i had a choice. I could either allow the tears to flow and to see this as all having gone wrong, or, there was another option. I started to laugh! I laughed so hard and so long that i thought i would never stop. The lady looked at me with a huge smile on her face and just said It doesnt matter after-all huh. I just laughed some more and hugged her. No, it really doesnt matter at all I said. I had seen it. The pattern of the panic. The pattern that had plagued me all of my life. The one that makes me feel that everything is going wrong and it always does and poor poor me, this always happens to me. The victim had emerged! As the other lady ran off to catch her plane, i was left alone for the first time since leaving Santa Fe.I stood there in the airport, just allow myself to come back to my centre. I could feel Spirit washing away the adrenaline and a beautiful calm came over me. It was like a moment out of time. It was the Holy Instant and i knew it. I just smiled and drank it in. Spirit had me and there was nothing to worry about. I walked calmly up to the airline help desk and began to explain what had happened, asking if there were any other flights that would help me to make my London flight. She looked into my eyes and said sheepishly, Im afraid there arent any it maam. You won;t get home until tomorrow now. Time stopped again. I had another choice to make. I could fall on the floor and weep (the old pattern, I was a complete drama queen!) or, I could take it as it came and just carry on through, knowing that spirit was holding me and it was all fine. I decided on the latter. The lady at the desk checked on her computer to make sure there were no other flights i could get on and confirmed that i had indeed missed all my connections. I smiled and asked what happens now? She told me to go to another help desk, as she had limited access to the flight details, so i slowly walked along the concourse, pulling Spirit into my awareness and calmly asking Him to take this over. All that was repeating in my head was, I need do nothing, I need do nothing. At the help desk, a beautiful lady spoke to me calmy and politely, as she checked the flights on her computer. She looked very at ease and carefree, which made me feel the same. Then, the Miracle happened. She looked up at me and said Boy are you lucky! Then she handed me the boarding passes for two flights. Not only had she found me connecting flights but she had managed to get me ones that actually got me home earlier than my original landing time that had been booked. I looked at her in amazement! Then, i laughed again! ;-) I whispered, Thankyou Spirit, I love you. I got on the next plane with minutes to spare, only to find that it was a brand new airbus, all shiny and clean. The window seat i had been allocated was perfect. There was another passenger in our row of 3, but we had an empty seat in bewteen us, which gave us both plenty of room to relax and spread out. It was perfect! I meditated for that whole 3 hour flight, letting all of the panic feelings flow away and being left with a beautiful flowing feeling of serenity running through me. The peace i was feeling was just the most exquisite experience. Everything was alright and i knew it. I could let go.I could let Spirit take it all. I was in the flow of Love. To be continued......
Posted on: Wed, 13 Nov 2013 15:42:04 +0000
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