The Law of Flattery When Jethro advised Moses in the desert to appoint judges to help him, he told Moses to choose “men of strength”. Rashi comments that this is referring to the wealthy that do not need to flatter and find favor (at least in comparison to those who are lacking). The flip side of this is that those who flatter and try to find favor are weak. Most of us have struggled with wanting to find favor with others, maybe even to the point of flattery, at some time or another. It is ironic that we do this, considering that when it is tried on us we find it so disingenuous. Not to mention, that even were flattery to work, do we really want to be in a relationship that encourages our weakness? People flatter because they believe in the power of another and think that if they flatter that person he will fill their lacking. It is no wonder that the Talmud lists the flatterer as one of four categories of people who do not receive the divine presence (the Shechina). We wouldn’t want to hang out with such a person either. We need to hold onto our integrity and resist the temptation to compromise it by flattering. This is much easier when we understand that not only is flattery a mistake, it also undermines whatever we are trying to gain. Today, be complimentary, be gracious, and be warm, but don’t flatter. benjaminrapaport
Posted on: Thu, 30 Jan 2014 09:50:06 +0000
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