The Life of an Average 15 Year Old Girl By: Sarah Stout Hello my name is Sarah Stout and I am the average 15 year old girl but, I am one who will tell her story of her struggles and achievements. There are many things a 15 year old girl will go through whether it makes her cry or makes her smile. But one thing every 15 year old girls goes through is seeking a place to fit in, myself included. When it comes down to me I will explain the story of my life to guide you to my journey of fitting in. I’m a 15 year old girl from Pennsylvania that was typically happy with her life from the ages 0- 14 but there came a time where that all changed. I had loved my life because I had friends that made me happy; I never worried about boys because they just ruin your teen years really. I was known as the sweet girl with the popular best friend, that being quite hard at times but enough that I could deal with it. But it all changed when parents sat my sister and I down in their room one day telling us that they are having money problems and could no longer pay for the house and that were going to have to move. The first thought in my mind was that it will all be fine. But it wasn’t because everything was starting to happen slowly as my parents said it was going to happen. At first it was just looking for houses on the internet to actually going to places and seeing the houses. And then finally it happen we had found a townhouse. I didn’t know what a townhouse. I literally thought it was a house in town but I soon figured out what it was. And that’s when I really knew we were having money problems and I knew we were officially moving. The worst part of it was having a garage sale and seeing all the things that reminded me of my house and my friends were slowing leaving me sale by sale. But it had gotten worse. On the day of the garage sale my family (Dad, Mom, Sister and Me) were sitting outside and I was completely devastated about the move but my parents knew how to ruin my day more. While outside sitting in a horrible sagging lawn chair I was holding the most important thing to me, my dog Lucky that was 14 years old and was blind in both of her eyes and catching a form of cancer. My parents had glanced at Lucky and I, I had noticed and replied “Why are you staring?” and my mom spoke up and said “Sarah I know you don’t want to do this but I think it’s time to put Lucky down…” with an instinct to scream back “NO!” I for some odd reason looked down at Lucky. I looked at her eyes that were just balls of pain and rubbed my hand across her gigantic tumors and for the first time felt and saw her pain. And I looked back up at my mom and said “I love her and I never wanted to lose her and hopefully she will always be with me in some form or way but, I agree with you.” My mom later that day made her an appointment and that was really sad for me. She had ironically made it for the day before I move. So on top of losing my friends, I get to lose my dog too. Wonderful. I had a really rough time bringing her to the car that morning because I literally just sat on the floor with her in my arms crying for hours screaming “No you can’t do this, I can’t lose her”. After hours and hours of crying I get in to the car with no makeup, sweats my hair up in a crappy bun and Lucky in my arms. We had driven to multiple places because we were also getting ready for the move. But it eventually came and it was devastating. I had cried since I saw the name of the Animal Hospital to my first night without Lucky in my arms. I don’t want to go into the detail because it’s too much for me to bare at this point in my life. So let’s skip to the next day, moving day. I must have been really sad over Lucky because I was sick the whole way down, not to mention the last day I saw my friends was the day before Lucky’s death and we didn’t even get to say a proper goodbye. But the long drive of reviewing my thoughts of Lucky and the move had finally ended when I reached my new townhouse in Wilmington, North Carolina. We had walked in to something I’m not used to but it could definitely work with. A couple days after we had moved in my parents had finally come up with the one subject I didn’t want to be bothered with at this point. School. I was so drained at this point that the thought of having to make new friends and get used to a new environment was making me sick. But it eventually came I started my first day at school a week after we moved in to our new home or townhome I should say. I walked into the school terrified that no one would like me and think I’m weird. The feeling got worse every time I got closer to the room where I get told my schedule. When I got my schedule my first period teacher was a fairly close to where I was. The woman that gave me my schedule said “You’re going to love your first period teacher, all the girls do!” When she said that I was thinking that’s all I need right now a cute teacher. I roamed the whole school for fifteen minutes until I finally found the classroom. I took a deep breath and slowly turned the door knob to my first class to my new school. I walked in to a classroom of people completely staring at me and I could feel all of the judgments and thoughts and I was too busy noticing the people staring that I didn’t notice my gorgeous teacher. He was so nice and made me feel really welcomed. And after a while my class ended and I left to explore the rest of the school and figured out I had my sister in my second class and it was great. But then it came my third period class the one class before lunch. I guess I should mention my biggest fear is sitting by myself at lunch. So I knew I had to make friends so I attended my third period class and sat next to this girl and tried to make her my friend. Me being the most awkward person in the world completely bombed it but I eventually got her to say yes to sit with her. And when it came down to lunch we sat at this long rectangle table with her in front of me and that was it just me and her. I sat that and did not eat while she ate her food while I awkwardly tried to start a conversation but ruined it every time. Lunch finally ended and I was off to the last class of the day some weird computer technology class (They had run out of electives for me to take) and I walked in to the most charming boy. He made my heart beat every time I would glance at him and I had noticed he had a guitar that made me really interested but it was all ruined when I started talking to the teacher and my awkwardness had struck once again. The class ended and at this point I had been fed up with myself for making only one friend or not even really a friend a lunch buddy and ruining my chances with everything that looked at me. I was walking to my mom’s car trying to hold in the flood of tears ready to stream down my face but, knowing my mom she broke the strength I had to hold in my tears by saying “How was your first day girls?” and tears came down like a waterfall. I told my mom “I don’t want to talk about it please just go home”. Which she listened and just took me home and I ran as I fast as I could in my room and just cried and cried to the picture of Lucky I had in my room and continued saying “I wish you were here”. My dad had come in and hugged me tight and told me he loves me and everything will get better. I love my dad he always makes me happy when I’m sad. Although he told me something that I knew was going to be hard. My dad had to go back to my old house which we still owned for a few more months to stay with my 23 year old brother who had gotten in some trouble with police and was going to jail for a month or so and my dad had to stay because he would have no one there to take care of him when he gets out. My strength had just disappeared when I was told this and especially when he left. So at this point I have no dad, no dog and no friends. I still continued to go to school almost every day but some days I was so weak that I couldn’t could go to school without coming home and committing suicide. For the months where my dad was not there I had thoughts of suicide every day that went by thinking that would be my only way out of this. One day it was so bad that I was so weak that I had taken a double dose of pills and laid in the bath and I just sat there not thinking anything but one thought “I hope this kills me and everything will be better”. But one thought squeezed through, my dad and my sister. I loved them both very much and they loved me. I got so in to the thought of killing myself that I didn’t even think of the fact of how this might affect other people. So I got out of the bath, wrapped a towel around me and puked the pills out and just sat by the toilet crying for hours. I walked in to the living room where my sister and mom were sitting and told them and after I told them I regretted throwing the pills up because they screamed at me and showed me they didn’t care which truly broke my heart more. I just didn’t say anything and ran to my room a punched my pillow and cried wanting to die more than before but I still had my dad. I told him and he nearly cried and told me he loved me and never wanted to lose me. I was satisfied and went to bed before I did anything stupid. A month went by from the incident and I was still going school and crying each day. During the last few months boys have never went through my mind since that kid in my last period class that I had officially given up on. My sister had stayed home one night and our only luck with finding boys was on the internet because all they care about is boobs and a nice conversation but my sister met two guys from England and they changed things for a while. I had really connected with one of them and we became really close friends. Yes he is not here physically but who says having a friend from over the internet is so bad. But we talked for a long while but he began to really like my sister and I just figured to give up because that has been my go to instinct since my life changed. Things had changed though the semester was changing and I was going to new classes which meeting new people. I was slightly scared but at this point I just didn’t care anymore all I thought was your school day will eventually end and you could go home. The first day of the second semester came and I walked in to my classes exactly how I did the first semester awkward and weird and yes I did not make any new friends, nothing had changed. But when it came to lunch I was walking thinking “This is really going to suck I’m going to have no one to sit with” but a freaking miracle happen a girl from my first period class last semester that I had made a medium connection with, tapped my shoulder and asked if I wanted to sit with her and a smile spread across my face and I answered “yes”. I suddenly had a feeling things were going to get better from here and it did. Because like I had said earlier I didn’t really think about boys but a certain kid in my first and second period class always found a reason to talk to me about something. Although there’s a downside to this he was in a strong committed relationship with a talented, rich, gorgeous girl that happened to be in my last period. I decided not to count on things working out because who wants to ruin someone’s relationship. I began to things are going to be ruined again and I kept getting more and more signs of it. Because it just so happens that I have a lot of projects and interactive groups in my last block and an extremely annoying teacher that doesn’t understand when someone is shy they want to be working by themselves but I soon resolved that by making a friend I mean Spanish buddy. The year went by continuing to be complete crap but enough that I could deal with. And my days were getting better because my dad had gotten me a puppy that I could cherish and love just like I did with Lucky. Also something else happened a few months before school ended. The English boys from earlier in the story had “hooked” me up with one of the friends. I mean I truly think they are no such thing as a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship over the internet but you surely can be friends and my sister and I were planning to go to England soon so maybe I will meet him someday. This kid that I do talk to till this day really makes me happy but I don’t cut of my love life because of some relationship over the internet I still look for my future love of my life where ever I go. Things also got better because my dad was visiting a lot which relived my pain when I had bad days and my life was beginning to roll out to what it will be until I finally graduate and move to where I want and go to college and hopefully have more luck making friends. My birthday finally came which was great my dad was here when it came and I got to take the day off from school and had the best day of my life since I’ve been here. Also I get to see my favorite band in concert soon. And I’ve been creating more buddies not friends but it works for me. This is where my story will end. My days will go by and there will be some good days and they will be crap other days. I no longer want to commit suicide. I want to live life as long as I can, being positive about as much things as I can and trying to forget the bad. I will begin Cyber School because my parents and I think it will make me better. In conclusion to my story 15 year old girls have hard lives and so does everyone else but we continue live each day because we know eventually something good will come of our bad days. It happened to me and will happen to you. Please don’t ever give up.
Posted on: Mon, 29 Jul 2013 23:18:50 +0000
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