The New Year started off well…I weighed myself and was 2 ½ pounds away from my goal weight. I hadnt weighed in 3 months, I had to bite the bullet and I was feeling marvelously dehydrated (everything helps)… victory! I had been given a glorious 2 weeks off and spent them a myriad of ways, none of which included room service, damn it. Those who know me well know, I soul search almost every minute of every day. Ive done more to “right” my mind and spirit than a death row inmate. My mother passed away in November (that’s entirely another story) and it sure makes you reflect on all things from creation…on down. I have always believed when your “time comes” it’s a tidy package especially if you’re doing, praying, loving, working, trying your best…etc. But shocker alert…It’s messy, damn messy, spider web, crazy glue, tar feather, confetti messy. You can die unfulfilled. That’s likely the worst sentence Ive ever written & understood. There are times I relish in the beautiful talk of eternity and almost smell the fragrance of such…then I chicken out and snatch all my chips back. I don’t want to die! No not yet, not yet. Like I have the power to direct it? What I am positive of is, is doing for others. It’s a slow process, grains of sand changing the scale, one grain at a time. My very core has changed in this slow and mighty process. We are not the answer; our comfort is not our comfort. It, the ‘IT’ lies elsewhere…go find it. After all who gives a shit about weight; it’s the weight of the world that truly matters after all. Happy New Year my dear ones~
Posted on: Tue, 06 Jan 2015 02:44:45 +0000
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