The Paralyzing Pain of Death Have you ever experiencing the passing away of a loved one? Have you ever wondered how that feels? How does the pain manifest in the body and mind? 1. The pain is paralyzing. You will feel as if you have been zapped out of this world. Suddenly all the worldly pleasure that you once enjoyed like watching a funny movie, going for a walk, hanging out in a café, playing a video game, eating a meal, sharing a laugh with a friend, shopping for a new dress or shoes, having a drink with a friend…suddenly, all that once brought you pleasure will no longer bring. 2. Your body will feel really heavy with grief. Grief is like gravity it really weighs you down. Your shoulders will sag and slump, your head will dangle low, you will not be able to sit up with a straight back. Only lie down or slouch in a sofa or bed. You will have no appetite for food, people, or sometimes light and colour. 3. Your mind will also be in shock. The biggest shock comes from what no longer is. The inability for the senses to connect with what is tangible is beyond the mind’s ability to grasp. How will I not be able to touch, hear, see, speak, hold and smell this person again? It is beyond the mind. It is known. And the mind finds it hard to step into unknown territories. 4. The pain of not knowing. Having no idea of how life will spin post the death of a loved one is truly disconcerting and uncomfortable. The mind clings onto what is ‘normal’ and does not understand how ‘normalcy’ will return with one less person in the family or relationship. Some people carry the pain of loss throughout their whole lives. One common challenge comes in the form of memories. What should I do with memories when they come up? How should memories affect me? The answer is not to get attached and to become very aware of the string of memories as they unfold. (Easier said than done). If you choose to live in the past with memories, then be aware that this is a choice you have made. Perhaps living in the past is better than the present moment because you still have not figured out how to make the present moment worth living. That’s OK. Just be aware. A second common challenge happens when we struggle to understand WHY. Why did the loved one have to leave? Why do they or I deserve this pain? Some people have the capacity to use intense emotions of loss & separation for transformational purposes and self-discovery. I am very blessed to be one of those few people. Those who do not share this capacity should seek help from healers who may be able to help them understand their emotional state and how to transform pain to power. I still do not know how to help others. I can only help myself. Love & Blessings, On this Friday, S.
Posted on: Fri, 17 Oct 2014 07:32:25 +0000
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