The Sacred Responsibility of Fathers Every man who fathers a child has a moral and sacred responsibility to his son or daughter. The Family: A Proclamation to the World says that by divine design, fathers are to preside over their families in love and righteousness and are responsible to provide the necessities of life and protection for their families (¶ 7). Fathering can be very rewarding – and very demanding. From a spiritual perspective, fathering is both a joyous blessing and a challenging, sacred responsibility (Hawkins, et al., 2000, p. 66). A fathers active involvement profoundly affects his children and generations to come. Children who have fathers who are involved in their lives -- whether the children are biological, adopted, or step children -- have a better chance of excelling socially, emotionally, and academically. Children need fathers to provide them with the necessities of life, such as wholesome food, clothing, and shelter in a safe neighborhood (whether he lives with his children or not). As a father provides this stability, his children feel secure and have higher self-worth. Theyre better able to develop normally, including performing well in school, developing healthy relationships with peers, and achieving in their individual interests. A father is also responsible for providing emotional, social, and spiritual protection and support for his family. Children need affection from their fathers, both physical and verbal. They need reassurance, kind and loving discipline, and spiritual leadership. Active participation in religion often helps fathers be more involved with their children. Religious fathers are more likely to be positively involved physically, mentally, and emotionally with their children. Religion can help men see that being a father is a sacred service to God and not just a social role (Dollahite, 1998, p. 7). Not only children benefit when a father is involved. Their father, too, benefits. As his children look to him as an example of how to express feelings and emotions, he learns about empathy, sensitivity to emotions, and how to express his own emotions. When a father hears his child crying or knows his child is hungry, he becomes more caring and nurturing and learns to put others needs ahead of his own. Many men feel there are barriers that keep them from being involved. They might feel inadequate as a provider or unprepared for the emotional demands of fatherhood. Some have false beliefs about the role of fathers, such as the idea that moms should provide all the nurturing and dads should simply provide materially. All these barriers can be overcome by learning more about fatherhood through books, community support groups, and other men who are good fathers. Below are suggestions for becoming more involved with your children: Show genuine interest in your childrens daily experiences. Ask them questions about what they do each day. Open-ended questions (What did you like best about your field trip?) offer more chance for discussion than yes-no questions (Did you learn anything?) Attend parent teacher conferences at your childs school. Rearrange your schedule if you need to. Spend time listening and talking about your childs day. Choose an interest you and your child both share and plan activities around that interest. Attend your childs events, such as sports games, music recitals, plays, school events. Tell your child stories about things you experienced when you were his or her age. Include your child as you plan vacations and trips so you go to places and do things that interest him or her. Below are ideas for how fathers can relate to their children in specific age groups. Infants Talk to your infant in a pleasant soothing voice, using simple language. Play with your baby. Feed your baby, change his or her diaper, be part of bedtime routines, and go to doctor appointments. Toddlers While bathing your child, play-act with toys like boats, ducks, water wheels, cups and saucers, etc. Dont be afraid to act over-dramatic. Take your child to a park with swings, low slides, and small climbing equipment. Stay alongside her as she plays. Preschoolers Show love and affection by hugging, kissing, wrestling, tickling, giving horse rides. As you help your child dress, teach him how to tie shoes, undo buckles, and do up buttons or zippers. Tune in to the moments when your child is spontaneously adventurous, such as deciding to build a fort with sheets and blankets, and be willing to drop things so you can join her. Six- to eight-year-olds Work on a project together that integrates different skills, such as science, math, art, social development, and language. For example, build a play store, buy an aquarium, produce a family newspaper, make a nature collection, make a book, build something out of wood, etc. Work together mowing the lawn, trimming the edges, weeding, planting, fixing the car, etc. Eight- to twelve-year-olds Coach your child in how to handle difficult social situations by giving him hypothetical scenarios. For example, ask your child: If someones bullying you on the playground, what can you do about it? Then discuss options for handling the situation. Work together planting and caring for a garden, fixing a bike, building a model airplane, organizing the garage, etc. Teenagers Set aside a time when you and your spouse can discuss with your teenager his or her future plans and goals, including high school activities, dating, college, marriage, career, etc. Meet your teenagers friends. By making your house available for parties, watching videos, or informal gatherings, you can more easily meet and have fun with your teenagers social group.
Posted on: Wed, 30 Oct 2013 13:55:47 +0000
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