The Story of Jesus - Once upon a time, Santa Claus found himself to be very sad and lonely, as Mrs. Claus had recently passed away. The elves decided that Santa needed to be happy once again, so they introduced him to the Easter Bunny. It was love at first sight! Santa was smitten with Bunnys loving ways and her kind nature, and within a couple of weeks after a whirlwind courtship, Santa and Bunny tied the knot. Well, as you might imagine, Santa and Bunny soon found themselves in the family way. Most folks said that it HAD to be impossible, but the happy couple called it an immaculate conception and anxiously awaited the arrival of their offspring. Very soon, Bunny and Santa were the proud parents of Baby Groundhog who they named Jesus. Oh, how they doted on Groundhog Jesus! He was the love of their life! Never had there been such a happy family! However, Groundhog Jesus fell ill after a day of playing outside in the rain and cold. No matter how much loving care that was given to Groundhog Jesus by Santa and Bunny, it was hopeless ... Baby Groundhog Jesus was so gravely ill that he passed away at a very young age. Bunny and Santa were devastated. Their family had been ripped apart! Grieving, they decided to bury their beloved Baby Groundhog on a Friday, in his favorite hiding place - - a little hole in the ground. To protect his body, the parents placed a large stone in front of the hole, to keep away badgers and raccoons and other predators. Then, they went back home after the service to mourn the loss of Groundhog Jesus with their friends and family. Two days later, early on Sunday morning, Santa and Bunny went to visit the grave of Baby Groundhog Jesus. Imagine their surprise when they discovered the stone had been rolled away from in front of the hole, Groundhog Jesus was sitting upright (as healthy and hearty as the day he was born!) and was looking at his shadow - - predicting that there would be at least six more weeks until spring. The End (of the fictional story of Jesus, AKA the Groundhog). ~~ Suz ~~ * 90% of people believe in a God … therefore, 10% of people are of above-average intelligence. * The Bible: The GREATEST work of fiction ever written by man. * Religion, the cause of all wars: My God is better than YOUR God, and I don’t agree - so I will kill you and your family. * Organized Religion, The Mafia, and The US Government: Three separate groups, with the same purpose - to frighten and subjugate the regular people; and to separate those frightened and subjugated people from their money.
Posted on: Sat, 26 Jul 2014 06:04:17 +0000
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