The “Validate Me” Mindset The problem with letting others define your value is this – if Jim tells you that you’re ugly, and you don’t like yourself to begin with, Jim has just dealt you a devastating blow. You’ll not only believe Jim, but you’ll take it a step further by attaching your value to your physical appearance. This is because you’re looking for something – anything and anyone - that can tell you how valuable or not you are. This is flawed thinking. You become self-absorbed when you’re focused on something (your value in this case) directly and only related to yourself. You look to others to provide this information to you, hoping that it is positive. But even when it is positive, you’re not convinced. You look for more confirmation – as an addict looks for cocaine – fishing for compliments and recognition to keep you afloat. The negative feedback you receive carries a lot more weight than the positive – because you’d already like yourself if you believed the positive feedback. One negative remark overpowers a thousand compliments.
Posted on: Mon, 08 Dec 2014 21:24:50 +0000
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