The Way I See It: Wedges This is an issue that largely goes unseen, mostly due to the fact that its done with the intention of being covert and not leaving tracks. Thus, only people who know that it happens speak up about it, while those who dont realize when it happens most often support whatever happened, not knowing WHY it happened. Wedging, as I call it, is the intentional act of trying to intervene in a relationship. It is not cockblocking and it is not simply being a third wheel to a couple. Wedging is the act of putting a breakup into motion. For various reasons, people may want to see two people no longer in a relationship, be it jealousy, protectiveness for one party or another, or for whatever reason there may be. Most often, wedges do not want their actions to be brought into the light, out of fear of judgement, guilt and what have you. Imagine for a moment that you were in a perfectly fine relationship. You cant imagine anything being outstandingly wrong with it. Then, all of a sudden, it falls through. Years later, you are at peace with this and have likely moved on. But what if you found out that someone had caused the breakup? How would you feel? The issue here is that wedging can happen in any relationship as long as there are more than two people on the planet. It doesnt matter how long that relationships been there. It doesnt matter who the two people are. Wedging can happen at any point in the relationship, though it becomes progressively more difficult as the relationship becomes deeper. You sometimes see the issue brought up in TV, though rarely at all anymore. Often times, the situation involves a female friend of the female partner trying to break the two up. A notable example otherwise is the Twilight series. I think something like that happened at some point in the Animorphs series, and Harry Potter too, and Akuno-Ps Evil series. You dont see it that often because its a largely silent issue. People who dont realize what happened often support the reason it happened, not knowing what caused whatever happened to happen in the first place. People who DO see what happened are often labeled as mentally unstable, obsessive, possessive and things such as that. This castration of the heart comes in the claws of a beast with a name--envy. In fact, in my mind, this is envy at its worst, at its lowest, but to understand why, we must know what envy is. Often, we confuse envy and greed. Where greed is the desire to have everything, envy is the desire to have someone ELSEs everything. Greed is about how much you can have--envy is about how much you CANT have. So, wedging cant be about greed. Rather, it fits quite nicely with the very definition of envy. Envy is one of those things that finds the most peculiar and disturbing ways to work itself into the lives of others. Often, the damage it causes can be irreversible and leaves long-lasting scars. In a situation such as wedging, if enough time passes, it can be difficult for the three involved to ever return to a situation where all parties are okay, the couple remaining and the wedge not interfering. Consider when the defendant cries lies!!. What lies is he referring to? What happened that caused the breakup to occur? If you arent told, I suggest that you ponder it--if nothing was truly wrong, you may have just discovered a dark truth. Im not saying that two people should return to a relationship if they dont want to. Just because their breakup was fraudulent doesnt mean that they have to try again. But I encourage those people to reconcile and realize that they never had to be apart in the first place, and to imagine how things could be if they had never been apart. I may be throwing red glass at the issue, but I firmly believe that love that once was can still be if it was genuine, sincere and of the heart. If they dont want to be together afterwards, thats fine. But if they do, I condemn all who stand in their way. In short, wedging is one of the most destructive and self-centered things you can do to a person. In my mind, it stands among the ranks of rape, theft and arson--in fact, it kind of reminds me of all three. I pray deeply for anyone involved in wedging and that those relationships be restored as best they can. Nothing can be more tragic than love broken apart for no reason whatsoever.
Posted on: Thu, 15 Jan 2015 09:49:06 +0000
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