The below article is written by a lady Mrs. Chithra vishwanathan, whos a famous Cooking expert. Really a good read! When my daughter, the elder one of my two children got married & left the house, I felt as if I could not let her leave me. Having a daughter & a son, I know what both mean, but differently . Once my daughter reached her teens I had started feeling as if my daughter was a physical extension of me ! So when she was leaving home to set up her own nest, it was as though I was losing a limb . The next time she came for a short stay with us, I was astonished how her priorities had changed. ( ofcourse we must have given the same shocks to our own parents ! ). When she said Amma, she meant her MIL & not me! I imagined that she was always in a hurry to go back to her house & not stay with me for a few more days. That was the first time, it dawned on me that I have to start practising detachment in attachment. Two years after my daughter’s marriage, my son left for higher stdies to U S. Having experienced a childs separation once, I was better equipped emotionally. I plunged head long into various classes held in the city starting from vedanta to healing to ikebana - I just wanted to be away from home since my husband was a 7-7 worker & a workaholic. My son used to write how he was missing my home cooked food, how he was waiting to come back to live in Chennai with us etc. After a few years, he did come back & we got him married. He started living separately with his wife & we were also happy that they wanted to be independant from the beginning. But now, it was all changed ! When in the U S, he missed my cooking, now if I called him to come over with his wife for a meal, it was always some excuse like oh, amma, we have other plans for the day, please dont mistake us if we dont drop in today ! I could see that his priorities had also changed completely. We talk in theory so many things & give advice to others etc but when it comes to your own children, acceptance comes very late & next step is just leaving them undisturbed in every way, mainly without advice from our end. It was at that time, I made the following lines as my new profile: In all my relationships , rather interactions , I give my best. I work hard to mature & cherish them. My attachment with them is complete. However , I remain detached in the sense that I do not expect them to reciprocate my affection. Most importantly , I make a conscious effort , not to interfere or pass judgements on the lives they choose to lead. My concern for my near & dear ones will not fade with my detachment. If you let go of the ones you love , they will never go away – this is the beauty of attachment with detachment ! I have learnt to love & let go.This dictum has developed tolerance in me. When I let the people live the way they want to , I learn to accept them for what they are. Most importantly , I learn to tolerate the world around me & this tolerance brings in me a sense of peace & contentment. I ask God to guide me in being loving , compassionate , tolerant & understanding when I interact with others. If a person wants to share a thought or concern with me I want that person to feel comfortable to do so. I want to remain peaceful & approachable to others. Before I speak , I pray to God to give me the right words so that I express myself clearly & with consideration to others. Since both my children live in Chennai, I follow this very strictly, you know why ! Now I have realised that we start growing mentally much more only after the children leave the house & we have to tackle the emotional vacuum, that arises, along with age-related problems like menopause which set in simultaneously. I find this is the most testing period for a woman, as well & emerging successfully is a slow process. I specially dedicate this post to my friends, who are totally dependant on their childrens lives, to nurture their own selves emotionally. Please develop your
Posted on: Thu, 15 Jan 2015 10:41:00 +0000
Trending Topics
Recently Viewed Topics
© 2015