The dreaded day has arrived... My mother is on Facebook! Worse than that, in fact way, way worse than that, is that she has also figured out how to scan photos and post them on Facebook. You thought that Jennifer Lawrence and Vanessa Hudgens were having a hard time with leaked photos? If JL and VH was a leak - then mine is a dam wall coming down.....Darren baby photos, Darren in drag (well, somebody had to play Maria in West Side Story at an all boys school), Darren going through his AHA phase, his Prince phase and his Don Johnson phase! I was able to rescue the situation and get my brother to rush over to her house and re-configure the privacy settings on her PC so that only her closest of close friends could view images on her account. My Mother, bless her, put up quite a fight for the right to let those pictures go live on her page. She started with; None of my other children or grandchildren complain and (predictably) played the I gave birth to you! card as well as, loudly, reminding me about her freedom of speech. I know better than to fight with her when she brings the law into an argument so I did what any other self-respecting son would do... I bribed her! For the low, low price of a Woollies gift card and theatre tickets I was successful! I convinced my matriarch to remove the offending photos. ...but not before East Coast Radios social media guru (gremlin), Tanya, was able to get her sticky bits and bytes on one of the compromising pictures. So in the same way that the likes of Jennifer Lawrence and Meagan Good, and even Rihanna, have reasoned with the general public and implored all good and decent social media citizens to do the right thing and not open the images - this is where I now find myself. Appealing to your sense of what is right! I was 17 years old when this picture of me at my Matric Farewell was taken and cant really be blamed for the fashion and styling crimes that are clearly evident. So what if Hugh Grant lent me his hairstyle, so what if Mrs Doubtfire loaned me her reading glasses... And I am personally proud of the brave young girl who chose to wear satin trousers to a Matric Dance (also a Tanya) and so what if my grin was too wide in a vain attempt to draw attention away from the Vesuvious of pimples on my forehead. Whatever you do, do not open the picture and for the love of Apollo - please dont share it! Darren Maule.
Posted on: Wed, 22 Oct 2014 17:39:30 +0000
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