The emotion comes like waves....sometimes soft and gentle....and the next knocks me over and takes my breath away....thats grief, I suppose. Im so thankful that I have assurance that hes in the arms of The One who has held him all along...the only hands Id trust more than my own...that I WILL see him again...but that doesnt stop my heart cries. After all, weve been one for 24 years, 4 months, and 11 days, so finding myself as 1/2 of one....its weird, ok? Just weird. Today, I asked the Lord to remind me who Tami is...just Tami, from before being Tami and Gary; before being Mom to 2 gorgeous sons; and before caregiver extraordinaire. And you know what I heard? Gary! A conversation Gary and I had in the last year...where we cried together and he simply looked up when I asked who am I...and he was looking at the pictures of our children (all 3..Joshua Paul North who gave us our first daughter, Courtney Noel North, and Nathan North) and our beautiful little angel, Cadence. Then he said, THATS what youll do when Im gone...pour into them. And I cried...and again today, as I remembered that bittersweet conversation that at the time, I could hardly bare...but today, Im thankful for. Ill be finding me again...but for now, I just miss the me, that was one with you...who was my best friend and the love of my life...
Posted on: Sun, 28 Dec 2014 03:07:43 +0000
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