The face of blame looks different from person to person depending on his/her communication style: its your fault . . if you had just . . . you could have . . . maybe next time you can just . . . I tried to tell you . . . and so on. When we are healthy, we CHOOSE how to respond to others. We are responsible to remain healthy and whole in Christ. Blaming will encourage results opposite of our desires. Blame tears away at the very core of security and self esteem. Take responsibility for your feelings by stating how you feel and why. For instance Its important to me that bills are paid on time because . . . I need your help. How can we get this done together? versus YOU were late with the bill again and we got a late fee! One approach at least keeps the communication flowing while the other closes it down IMMEDIATELY. Choosing NOT to get the help that you need to effectively communicate in your marriage can be detrimental and at the very least delays the abundance that God intends for us. Dont get me wrong, We have ineffectively blurted out at each other way too many times. We have learned the difference between effective and ineffective communication. When something is not working for a lengthy period of time, it is a clue that there may be something wrong with the approach and/or how we perceive others. If communication continues to be a problem, invest time and money--if necessary--in counseling and consistent marriage ministry. WARNING - You cant pick and choose ingredients in a cake recipe, you have to closely follow the recipe for the desired results. This wont work all by itself, it has to be combined with other healthy communication tools. Here is Tip #13. Scroll back for missed tips and continue to follow us for more marriage tools.
Posted on: Fri, 22 Aug 2014 00:42:02 +0000
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