The ghost of Jerry Garcia visited me in a dream today. It was rather unsettling. He had a dire message for me, upon waking, I knew I had to take action. He said Jeremy, youve just gone one week and three days without showering. You stink. Your balls are crusty and your co workers and family are disgusted by your foul aroma. I am proud of you. You are becoming one of us. Dont try to fight it, join us.... join us... And then a bunch of dead head zombies began to emerge from a deep fog of B.O. , chanting... Join us ! join us !! I woke up in a cold sweat, smelling like patchouli and swamp ass... Horrified I jumped in the shower, washed my hair about 3 times, scrubbed every inch of myself,paying special attention to my balls. When I stepped out of the shower, my soul still in tact, and my balls smelling triumphantly like cucumber melon body wash, I breathed a sigh of relief. I can only hope this never happens again, but Ill probably forget to shower for weeks at a time again in the near future. If I ever start humming, whistling or singing any dead tunes, somebody, please kill me and release my soul.
Posted on: Sat, 28 Jun 2014 20:12:34 +0000
Trending Topics
Recently Viewed Topics
© 2015