The guns, the bang, the shot. The songs, the fighting, the pushing. The shoving, the firing, the killing. The starting, the stopping. Nothing would ever end. Sitting on the aircraft, I move the joystick back and forth, my reddened eyes blinking with each and every movement. It was like a game on my gaming system, but scarier. And deadlier. Nonetheless it was my job, my mission to complete this task. Not only for Timothy, but for everyone else as well. Are you crying? Her voice came out calmly, but sternly. Now technically having taken over the head position, Charlotte had a more authoritative, less emotive voice. It wasnt cold, but it certainly wasnt warm, either. My face turned towards the window, but my eyes looked only at my reflection. The Capitol had rubbed off on me, yes, but now I was reverting back to who I was. Who I was supposed to be, but didnt want to be. Blinking a few times in hopes of seeing my usual self, I frown as I see my lips, no longer turned upward. But it has to be done. We had to continue the Games. Just one, maybe two, more and it would all be over. Where do I turn now? I speak into the radio, turning back to face forward, voice softened so that it would not crack. Everything looked the same: gray, abandoned, empty. A reflection of my thoughts and emotions ever since Timothy....left. And just like that, my eyes began streaming and the grey turned into a larger blur of nothingness. I was choking but I had ran out of tears long ago, drowning in my own pitiful pool of despair. Dont cry. Breathing quickly, yet not enough, I gasp for air as I pull myself out of my well, forcing my eyes to stop. Anxious, my fingers tremble as they type commands into the keypad, barely able to exert enough force on the button to do anything. Yet another reflection of my uselessness. Pressing enter, a sharp sound went off through the silence, resulting in me jumping up from my seat and hitting my head on the ceiling. But now, I was used to pain. Just a little more and youre there, Charlotte said, and for a moment I put the aircraft on autopilot. Building up the courage, I finally looked outside the glass walls, into the outdoors, trying to make things out of the grey. Trees, buildings, people. But they werent the same trees, or the same buildings, or the same people. The trees were dead, the buildings were wrecked, and the people were killing. No matter how happy I pretended to be, there was no pretending that anything was, or would ever be alright. Explosions could be heard every few minutes, and the screams of children were constantly in my mind. Prepare for landing. Her voice brought me out yet again, though only for a little while. Putting it back on manual, I began to lower the aircraft. Biting my lip, I watched as the clouds rose higher and higher as I descended lower and lower. Yet another reflection of me. Closing my eyes, I gave myself unto the darkness, pressing downwards harder and harder and the aircraft plummeted faster and faster. I imagined myself falling off a cliff, into an abyss, where there was nothing and nothing mattered. And I wouldnt have to worry about hitting the ground and it was only me and there was no dying or killing or fighting or shooting or crying or bleeding and I could just float. But then my eyes opened, and I woke up from my dream, which ironically used to be a nightmare. Yet another reflection of me. Slowing down, the aircraft finally touched the ground, more gently than I had initially thought. I opened the door, and turned to see the first of four enter into the aircraft. A once-familiar face now torn down and broken, barely hanging by a thread. All these reflections and I still cant figure out who Im supposed to be. ~Gamemaker Snorlypuff Hypnokarp
Posted on: Sat, 15 Nov 2014 22:52:38 +0000
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