The heart is a funny thing, its ironic how it coordinate with the brain. I wonder why the brain dont heart when it makes the heart remember the things that make it hurt so bad. There are some things that may have hurt you at one time and thanks be to God the heart will reject that hurt no matter how many times the brain bring it back to you. I can remember my mother very well and laugh about how funny she was . I always thought the memory of my sister, Emma Jean would be bitter sweet , we didnt have the best relationship until later in life, but all I remember is that about 3mos before she passed away, she called me, I was on my way to work that day , the spirit of the Lord told me not to go in that day so I turned around and sat on my couch, about ten minutes later she called me and when I asked if she was ok she said yes I just wanted to tell you that I love you , so thats all I think about when I think about her, thats how merciful God is to me. I loss my brother first, I literally had an outer body experience when I got that call. I feel like I own all rights to my brothers memories, I dont, but I feel that way. Sometimes I close my eyes and beg God to let me wake up from this awful, awful dream, then I draw a long breath, and sigh knowing it is real , he really is dead. Then it takes me weeks to stop thinking about the long talks we use to have when he realized he was not going to have the career he had dreamed of. the days he sat in the corner in our record shop and cried because he didnt listen to me when I would talk to him about a lot of the decisions he was letting others make for him. The greatest mistake he ever made was he trusted the wrong people for the wrong reasons even family members.
Posted on: Sun, 07 Dec 2014 04:07:26 +0000
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