The holidays are often the most stressful times of the year normally, but when youre dealing with a narcissist there is added tension, chaos, and drama. They will try to outshine others, requesting the spotlight, and will create havoc if non exists to ruin the most important time. Mine had noted he was never a family person, never would be in his own words lovey-dovey a romantic he was not. Yet nothing couldve prepared me or my family for what we witnessed every year. The emotional distance, the lack of involvement with family or activities, the lack of attention or love. Having to request the presence of the narcissist as if to send a personal invite to attend was not what anyone couldve imagined. Changing a photo on social media that particular week leading up to the holidays was common place yet there was no involvement with the family in person. Having to had decorate/display only narc items for others to marvel was also quite common. Having no assistance in decorating or having what was put up immediately rearranged or taken down was also common. Going through the motions, being moody and miserable, and dull was the norm. Not knowing who would show up behind the mask was like playing a guessing game that you could never win. Having to attend and please the ego for the narcissist was to be expected. Remember the day is about them. They truly believe they are above all others including the most holy. They believe family serves a purpose, a benefit, a primary source and they only get involved in such that they receive some kind of praise, accolades, or attention. They may purchase the most expensive gifts but the meaning behind the gift is what is most important as they are simply buying the love for which they cannot provide freely. They are not giving in terms of unconditional love or emotionally from the heart , as its not the gift but the reason behind the season that matters. If they can ruin the moment they will, whether it means making false accusations, breaking something of sentimental value, or disappearing on that particular day. The silent treatment , narc rage, and the mind games may very well come out for viewing. After becoming narc free you will see the difference and begin to be able to celebrate the true meaning. There is nothing better than being able to be your true authentic self and allowing others to be free of fear, abuse, and threats. Do you recall your first holiday without the narc and how you felt? What did you feel like, how did you enjoy the holiday, what might you have done differently? For me, even though the holidays were difficult financially I had the best time with just me and my kids. We enjoyed every minute of it, and it was no longer about the gifts, but what truly mattered most spending time with your loved ones, family, and friends. We had many times in which we couldnt afford to show our love, but it didnt matter, as we had each other, we were free from harm, and we had love in our hearts. If we couldnt afford to celebrate, we created our own unique version of the holidays, and made homemade gifts or simply expressed our love in person. So with the upcoming holidays near, I want to wish everyone joy, peace, love, and happiness. Keep shining, keep moving forward, and stay strong. With love Xoxo
Posted on: Thu, 18 Dec 2014 14:11:53 +0000
Trending Topics
Recently Viewed Topics
© 2015