The latest news - Melbourne, Victoria, Australia! Last weekend polls were held in the Melbourne suburbs of Caulfield, Carnegie and St Kilda. The poll results overwhelming demanded inclusion into, and the protection of the Russian Federation. Putin has ensured the Russian government has acted swiftly and issued laws proclaiming the annexation of those suburbs. Russian rapid deployment assistance and social adjustment units are on route and will arrive soon. Non-Russians are welcome to stay, but will need apply for a Russian passport, to learn the local language (and send their children to the local schools and to attend the local churches and other community events). Travel to other suburbs of Melbourne will be considered on a case by case basis. Residents of Melbourne that intend to travel through these suburbs are reminded to have their passports current and to apply for the relevant visa at the nearest Russian Embassy. Travellers to these suburbs are reminded that the local road rules have been transitioned to and are now compliant with Russian traffic management standards. Travellers need to remember to drive on the right hand side of the road and to give way to the left (and to remember the Russian word for Stop has an uncanny similarity to the Australian word Go. It also important to note that the cultural significance of the colour red is now different in these suburbs so intersections should be approached with care). Petrol can be obtained on the black market from the surrounding suburbs. It is advisable to ensure you carry sufficient personal supplies. Local activity demanding polls in other suburbs is appearing daily and international analysts suggest that suburbs like South Dandenong and large parts of Deer Park and Sunshine are at risk of being annexed in the near future. A lot depends on the disposition of Russian rapid deployment assistance and social adjustment units. There is wide spread international outrage over Russia’s action and much condemnation. Many world leaders have expressed disappointment in the Russian action and have issued statement saying that Putin is very naughty. Analysts say that there are great recreational advantages that Russia will gain, especially the beach and entertainment areas of St Kilda. As the Russian rapid deployment assistance and social adjustment units are coming by air and not by boat, and in consideration of the significant livestock export exposure, the reaction of the Victorian and Australian government has been muted.
Posted on: Tue, 01 Apr 2014 00:19:58 +0000
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