The man set under a large oak tree, one of his favorite places on his farm. Before him was a beautiful lake. He had fished on that lake many times through the years. This spot was his place, his sanctuary. A place he could find solitude when he was hurting from life. It had been well used. As he gazed across the crystal blue water, he began to think about his life. He had probably experienced every kind of emotion there is. He had felt the ecstasy of true love. Then, the heartbreak of losing that woman he loved. He had felt that pain twice. He had experienced the joy of raising some wonderful children, and he had felt the knot in his stomach as a result of the death of a friend. More times than he cared to remember. As he continued to gaze into the water, he came to a not so sober conclusion. The truth is, he had, over the years made very few friends. Actually when you did the numbers, they weren’t stacking up in his favor. He had more friends in heaven then he did here on earth. He sat there and thought about that for a long time. As he continued to stare, transfixed, into the water, he took a long, slow pull from the bottle of bourbon and made his decision. As he raised himself to his feet he started to have second thoughts. Then he remembered the day he got the call that his wife had been killed by a drunk driver. In anger, and with one swift motion, he shattered the bottle against the tree. With his courage bolstered he unsteadily walked toward the lake. As his boots touched the water he paused. In a gesture that was uncharacteristic for him, he raised his face toward heaven, and uttered a prayer. Dear Lord. I’ve spent all these years on earth. I’ve tried to be a good man. You know Lord how imperfect I can be at times. To the best of my ability, I have tried to treat my fellowman right. I’ve tried to be generous to those in need materially, and encouraging to those who were depressed. I even tried here recently to find true love again, to no avail. Only you know Lord how bad it hurts sometimes for me to be alone. Not one time did I ever complain to you because of a loved one, or a close friend being called home. I tried to always suffer in silence, so as not to place my burdens on others. Now, I’ve made this decision. I’m so very tired Lord. All my life I have been a friend to others and hardly ever did I let them be a friend to me. I know now, that I was wrong in not letting anyone get close to me. I spent all my time taking care of others when really what I needed was for somebody to take care of me. Oh well, nothing I can do about that now. The point is, I’ve made this decision. Lord, I’m useless here. I’ve done all I can do, and I’m tired. I need happiness, and the only way I figure I can get it is to go where my friends are. Now I’m a reasonable man. If you can give me one good reason to stay here, I will. After a long pause, filled with silence the man slowly continued his walk into the lake. As the water began to reach his waist, he was startled, when from behind him someone in a child’s voice yelled out, “Are you going swimming in your clothes Mr. Smith?” He whirled around so fast he almost lost his footing. There was little Billy from down the road. Billy continued, “Momma say’s we should never go swimming in our clothes and shoes because they might weight us down and we could drown.” This statement made the man flush with shame. He came out of the water and resumed his seat under the tree. Immediately Billy came a plopped down beside him. Billy had always been a talker. The man was not in a talking mood. However that didn’t deter Billy. “Mama says if the water is too cold you could get sick. Was the water cold? I sure don’t want you to get sick. If you do we won’t be able to go fishing Saturday like you promised. We are still going aren’t we?” The man absent mindedly grumbled a yes. Then his mind drifted back to the day Billy’s dad passed away. The little feller couldn’t have been more than six. He had felt sorry for him and tried to take his mind off the tragedy of losing a dad so young in his life. He had to chuckle at the time little Billy tried to catch that skunk. You couldn’t even tie a pork chop around his neck and get the dogs to play with him. Then there was the time he tried to be superman and jumped off the top of the house, and broke his leg. I set up all night with the little tike, reading him stories. The little bugger never did go to sleep. Then the fishing trips, what fun we had, just the two of us…His thoughts were interrupted. What was Billy saying? ”Mom says if it wasn’t for you she don’t know what she would have done with me. You know mister Smith, your about the bestes friend anybody could have.” Best friend Billy, best, not bestes, replied the man. Suddenly, the man thought about two other boys that were missing their daddy. His thought went to his longtime friend who had been killed in a car wreck, leaving two sons. They had told him just last month how much they loved having him to go fishing with. The old man sighed deeply and thought about who would be there now to take them. He never was good at math, but he did a quick calculation in his head and, and that’s when it dawned on him. The numbers were beginning to stack up in his favor again. With Billy’s help, the man slowly got back to his feet. Billy immediately grabbed his hand and as they started toward the house the old man again did something uncharacteristic of him. He raised his face toward the heavens and uttered three simple words. Thank you Lord. Then he turned to Billy and said, Billy I’ve made a decision. Billy looked up at him with big blues eyes, and said, “What’s that mister Smith. The old man looked into Billy’s eyes and with a smile of satisfaction said, me and you are going fishin on Saturday. Never underestimate your value here on earth. Each one of us makes a difference to someone. Never try to be an island. Reach out to people, and more importantly, let them reach out to you. I have allowed circumstances of life to cause me to push people away. I’ve always been afraid to take a chance. I only allowed a few people to get close. I have missed out on happiness because I would not take a chance. Because of my fear, I missed my chance at love and happiness. That’s me, don’t let it be you. When you meet someone, and they make your heart flutter, and you wake up everyday dying to say something to them, and you can’t wait to hear what they have to say to you, and you get this ache in your stomach that just won’t go away until you can speak to them and have them speak back, then for God’s sake take that chance. Don’t be afraid to risk it all. In the words of my favorite saying, “Better it is to have loved and lost, than to never have loved at all.” Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to go gather up my fishing gear. That is, just as soon as I get out of these wet clothes!
Posted on: Fri, 16 Aug 2013 01:58:18 +0000
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