*The man she never knew.* All the windows in the apartment were covered with dark curtains. I walked around, weaving my way through the books, utensils and assorted chocolate wrappers that decorated the floors. Dirty dishes lay strewn on the kitchen counter; empty takeout cartons lay deserted on the floor. A cigarette perched precariously between her thin fingers, she sat on the window sill in the kitchen. One leg hanging off of the sill, and the other bent at the knee, she offered the perfect picture of relaxation – head tilted back against the lightly coloured wall, smoke rings drifting past her pale lips. She turned her head slightly to acknowledge me, and raised the cigarette in greeting. “Mel, what brings you around to my humble, and rather dirty, abode?” she asked. I shuddered at how feeble her voice was, and the contrast it drew with my memory of it made me sad. “There’s been no word from you for five days now. On the fifth day, I started worrying if you were dead,” I replied. It was true, she hadn’t replied to any of my messages for the past week and I had begun to wonder if she’d escaped into another realm. Albeit, a happy prospect for this crazy hippie. “Haha, no such luck.” She gave the cigarette a gentle tap, and the ash drifted into the room. “Don’t bother with that Mel. Chinnamma said she’d come in tomorrow. The poor thing will probably have a minor stroke as she walks in, but it’ll save me the hassle of cleaning up,” she said when I looked questioningly as the mess in her room. “So this is what you’ve been up to? And where the heck is your phone?” I asked. She gave me her lop-sided grin, and motioned to the dishwasher with her eyes. I stared at the dishwasher, and then at her. My eyes widened in disbelief. She guffawed, throwing her head back, but it caught in her throat. She started coughing, but put up a hand when I made towards her. The entire place was dishevelled, much like my friend. In her living room, bed sheets flung across the couch were speckled with chips, gravy and other condiments. From what I glimpsed of her bedroom, clothes now inhabited her bed and dust had invaded her worktable. “Anu, what the hell happened?” “He did, Mel. He did.” She stared out the window for a moment and took two puffs of her cigarette before continuing. “I didn’t imagine I’d have to wrench him out of my heart, you know? I mean let’s face it. After the Pentagon, this baby here,” she said, pointing to her chest, “is probably the most heavily guarded institution on earth. So it’s quite a surprise when a prisoner escapes with as much of a mess as he made.” I went over to her, and sat down next to her on the window sill. She looked at me and offered me her cigarette, but I shook my head. I had my hands too full with her demons to give attention to mine. “So I broke it off. But it’s still there. You know what I mean?” I nodded, knowing exactly what she meant. “He’d promised to show me his art. Yeah, said he’d bring a couple of pieces and show off a bit.” A tinkling laugh escaped her, and she got that dreamy look in her eyes again. “Maybe I was hasty.... Maybe if I’d given him more time. But I did, didn’t I? It’s been what, six months? And he still didn’t get the hang of me. Maybe I make myself too complicated. Do I make myself too complicated, Mel?” she asked, blowing a ring of smoke my way. I returned her gaze. “Hmmm. I wish he’d fought back. He just took it, you know. Like, just took it. And ‘Okay’. That was it. ‘Okay’. I wanted him to fight. I wanted him to fight for us, for me. But he didn’t. Ha! What a scumbag,” she said, puffing vigorously now. “So yeah, I think I miss him. And I wish the son-of-a-gun knew that. It might just make him come back and fight me. I mean, come on! My defences are so flimsy, even the Big Bad Wolf could blow them down. But he just doesn’t get it. You get me, Mel? He doesn’t know. Poor guy, he doesn’t know.” I watched as the cigarette dwindled down to a stub, and her face slacked against the wind. “I miss him. The idea of him. Funny huh? To feel so much for someone you’ve never even met?” ~ Anjana Sonam #TAWfanarchy
Posted on: Fri, 12 Sep 2014 09:30:00 +0000
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