The month of Nov-Dec brings in our hospital droves of NRIs who come tucked in their best bringing a wave of fragrance of the latest deos as they enter the consulting room & in style they start speaking English (probably as they feel inferior while talking in their mother tongue) in an accent with a vocabulary & phrases whose meaning even I find it difficult to apprehend. Here are few shocking examples where the Queen’s language is brutally murdered. Sample this conversation below between me & a N.R.I. patient He: - “Hi doc..Wassup up??? U cool.. haan??” Me (thinking):- Do I even know this guy?? Why is he behaving like a long lost friend?? I say- “I am always warm. What brings you here ?” He: - “You know that so much dustings here I become very sickening so I come for waxing my ears” Me after cleaning his ears: - “You got a perforation in the eardrum which needs to be closed surgically. Do you have any other medical problems?” He: - “ I have Normal Hypertension & Normal Diabetes. Is this operation Hard & Fast.??” Me (wondering what Normal Hypertension & Diabetes means):- “No, this operation is not Hard & I am pretty Fast” He: - “Ya, Ok then when should I follow u again to have the hole closed (Oops OMG !!!) I have a lot of headache in my tooth also. Is the Dentist on top of you(Ravi Gandhi) doing a good oral job, easy going & satisfying because I only come rarely” Me (controlling my laughter) tauntingly:- “ Don’t worry just seeing him will make you come again & again” He: - “No, I can’t come again. This year I come thrice. Doing in-out, in-out, in-out of India exhausts me.” Me:- “Oh!! Why did you have to come here repeatedly??” He: - “First I come to shave off my grandson’s head then my mother-in-law died & I was solely responsible so I come to do Kriya-Karam” Me (thinking):- Now you are doing Kriya-Karam of English language. I ask him “What brings you to India again?” He: - “You know my son work in a Apple, he & me come to check-up (Oh God .. you mean check out) lot of Indian girls.. If he likes someone then I will marry both of them together” Me:- “Ok.. God bless!!(all of you & the English language too)”
Posted on: Thu, 04 Dec 2014 06:51:14 +0000
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