The more I find myself...the more alive I feel. Good & bad. Like, for the first time in like, over a decade Im just Lindsay. The mommy. And Ive been attaching myself to some toxic relationship for years. That Ill often sit and try to remember that I am me. Im not someones victim. Im not my own victim of redundantly bad choices. Choices I thought suited me. I dont think any man aside from my son has ever loved me. I never thought I had that right. And its, so strange to be a middle aged woman and be a stranger to everything but the love for your children. Am I broken? Or is the world broken, Im pretty sure Im decently smart, funny, fun, and caring. I dont even know where to gauge my appearance. As a mother Im BEYOND blessed. But as a person, Ive never been so alone, and Ive never been so alive. My kids are amazing I must not be so bad. Is the world broken for not noticing or am I broken because they dont? Stupid meds are making me loopy and philosophical and confused.
Posted on: Tue, 15 Oct 2013 02:31:50 +0000
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