The one thing that God has called you to do will be the very thing the enemy will tell you, you cant do. 3 plus years ago, I sat on my bed. I heard God say write a book, I said what could I possibly write. I had 3 small children a husband working and spent the day feeding a baby, changing nappies and making dinner for the family. Write a book, what planet are you on God? My husband always encouraged me, He told me to tell my story, to speak Gods word. He was my greatest fan. But I didnt believe I could. My battle was I am just a house wife, I am just a mum, we are poor, I havent been to uni. Oh now I look back, my mindset was wrong I was in the blessings of God, all those things were the greatest call of my life. Family, love, unity, raising children, marriage, the heart of God. I prayed God awake the spirit man in my husband, teach him to warfare for our children, I knew the enemy wanted to attack and I wanted to prepare so I prayed. I said I will write that book, but youve got to give me something to write about. I dont want to sit here, watching the world go by I need to know you,I sacrifice everything for you. The only thing I ask as I step out in faith and obey is that you give us a greater marriage and protect our family and call us to reconcile marriages. 6 weeks later, my husband became depressed, 3 months later he left. 3 years later its been a living hell, will no solution, no counsel, never have I been able to hold him, or see that prayer fulfilled. God asked me to write a book, tragedy took place, but although I admit to not yet fulfilling my promise to God. I can truly say, I still believe God is able. God has allowed me to see so much, that ordinary Christian girl who thought she conqueror end life at 16 out of bible college now can say without education I get The courts Abuse, Mental illness Custody issues Churches attitudes, confusion, systems I know wise counsel from really awful, Christian and non Christian I know what not to say and what needs to be said I know what breaks a child What happens when you lose control I know the system doesnt work I know what its like to be poor But I also know true riches are family, marriage and friends I know loss I know pain I know physical sickness I have seen my children hospitalised due to anxiety I have seen friends sacrifice there time to share there family to hold us up I have had to be humble many times to take food cards to eat I have had realised that being boring every night on the sofa with someone you love is far more important than wanting to escape, study, party. Time with your spouse is priceless. I have had to let go of opinions of me, judgement, watched my friendships diminish I have seen true friends stand with me, praying, believing no matter how it looks still believing for that godly outcome. I have been accused, abused, misunderstood, and I have personally be left confused. I have had to learnt to only let certain people in, not everyone understands and not everyone will back your vision especially when moving on seems like the best option. I havent written that book yet, mainly due to fear, shame, unresolved fairytales, still walking through a very painful circumstance, but still standing strong. I will write that book, I dont know how it will end, but 3 years ago my world fell apart and now the only thing I know I need to do is to be obedient to Gods heart. We may not know the ending, but we know that God has already written the next chapter and the most important thing we can ever learn is no matter the circumstance, no matter what people think of you. Your obedience to God us the most important, His will, His way, His book!
Posted on: Tue, 16 Sep 2014 10:14:36 +0000
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