The purpose of having boundaries is to protect and take care of ourselves. We need to be able to tell other people when they are acting in ways that are not acceptable to us. A first step is starting to know that we have a right to protect and defend ourselves. We have not only the right but the duty to take responsibility for how we allow others to treat us. ________________________ It is impossible to have a healthy relationship with someone who has no boundaries, with someone who cannot communicate directly and honestly. Learning how to set boundaries is a necessary step in learning to be a friend to ourselves. It is our responsibility to take care of ourselves - to protect ourselves when it is necessary. ______________________________ A process to establish and/or maintain boundaries: 1. Inform others that the boundary exists and inform them when they have violated it. 2. Identify the properties of your boundaries (what are the definitions and parameters). 3. Create a consistent means of broadcasting the presence of the boundaries. 4. Instruct others as to how the boundary operates. 5. Remain aware of the process/action required to maintain the boundaries. 6. Inform others of the consequences of violating a boundary. 7. Warn others when they have or are about to violate the lines of a boundary. 8. Immediately activate the consequences when a boundary has been violated. 9. Be willing to forgive when a boundary is innocently or unknowingly violated. 10. Be willing to surrender the relationship for repeated violations of the boundaries. 11. Determine through practical experience whether or not the boundaries serve the intention for which they have been established.
Posted on: Fri, 12 Sep 2014 15:30:49 +0000
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