The science of Good Neighbourhoods Home. The mere word causes us to envision a place of our own where we can relax and ease ourselves. A dwelling where we can enjoy our existence with our family. A place where we can roll on the floor, laughing with our children. A place where we can lounge on snug and cosy sofas when it’s raining outside, where we can roll up our sleeves and rest under the fans with a stifling hot weather outside. It’s an abode where we are left to our own, with people of our own, on a place which is our own. A person’s home is the centre of his dreams. It’s the axis around which his ambitions revolve. Home is the most important location for everyone of us. Our homes may be musty smelling or airy; they may have loose floor boards and ceilings which leaks; or doors which creak and pipes that drip. But even with all these limitations, we can’t deny the comfort our homes give us and the feeling of relaxation we get when we reach them. Home, undeniably, is one of the most valuable possessions of man and every person deserves a home where he can relax and ease himself. One of the most important factors which influence the amount of contentment we get from our homes is: Neighbours and the neighbourhood. Neighbours play the most important role in influencing the environment around our homes. Being physically near, it’s the neighbors who can affect us positively or negatively. Even the religious texts and personalities spoke on the importance of neighbours and urged their followers to be good to their neighbours. Swami Vivekananda said: “we should love and serve our neighbours because we are all one in the Supreme Spirit known as Paramatman or Brahman.” The holy Bible says: ‘Love your neighbour as yourself.’ There is no commandment greater than these.” (Mark 12:31) Prophet Muhammad went to such a limit in classifying the significance of neighbours that he said: “a person is not part of his community if he sleeps contentedly while his neighbour sleeps hungry.” He even used to instruct his followers to add more water when preparing broth or soup, so it should be plentiful enough to be shared with neighbours. Neighbours are even closer than our own relatives in many ways. In case of any unfortunate emergency, it’s the neighbours on whom we rely. Thus, it’s essential to have good and reliable neighbours to ensure a blissful home. Where it all starts: It all starts when deciding to buy or construct a new house. Many of us often research well enough about the facilities and conveniences a place provides but give less importance in determining what type of neighbours the residence has. Following are some tips which will help you in determining the nature of a neighborhood where you want to buy a property: 1.Visit the neighborhood on foot and take a walk around; observe the usual surroundings like walls, lamp posts etc. If there is graffiti on walls and garbage around the corners, then probably, the area doesn’t house what we term as ‘good neighbours’ 2.Visit the area at night. Many buyers make the mistake of visiting the place just during time and therefore miss to know the environment which surrounds it during the night. Visiting the place at night will expose things like: loud music from some building, presence of dogs who bark constantly, teen gangs smoking around the corners etc. 3.Go to the local snack stalls at the corner of the street, buy a soft drink or a packet of chips and chat with the shop owner. Ask him about the neighbourhood and the problems it has. 4.Visit the area at rush hour, walk down the whole street and observe the comings and goings. If possible, befriend residents of the area and ask them about the house you want to buy or the plot you want to construct your house upon. 5.Visit the area on weekends as well as on workdays. Observe the street, the lawns of houses. Observe whether the lamp posts are functioning and the garbage cans are maintained properly? If not, then most probably the neighbourhood houses people who don’t give much importance to cleanliness and orderliness. 6.Also check the number of property moves. Especially about the plot/house you are going to buy and generally, about the whole area’s houses. A high number of property moves indicates that people who come here are not happy with the place. 7.Avoid buying houses near to the following: Country clubs, Empty lots, Bus stops, Halfway houses, Garbage routes and heaps, Intersections with stop signs. There is no such thing as the ‘Perfect Neighborhood’ Even with all the precautions taken, one must understand that there is no such thing as the perfect neighborhood. Everyone has their own weaknesses. Good neighbors are not defined by perfection, but their willingness to share space with you and their sense of co-existence. Once in a while, you may face annoying things from even the best of neighbors, however, the question is: are your new neighbors willing to co-exist with you peacefully? Are they willing to exercise a tolerating attitude towards you? If yes, then congratulations! You have got neighbors who fulfill the ‘good’ criteria. Now, let us come to the possible ‘annoying things’ mentioned above. Homes are places where a person lives along with his family. Clearly, every age, gender, and ethnicity has its own cultures and ways of life. India, being the melting pot of several cultures, houses people of different mindsets and outlooks. While living together, these differences are bound to create some problems or nuisance. Thus, there will be things about your neighbors you may not like and things about you your neighbors may not like. However, these things won’t become problems unless and until there is the absence of a tolerant attitude. Following are some common aspects which many a times develop into problems between neighbours: Common problems between neighbours 1.Noise: One of the most commonly complained about problem between neighbours is noise. Sometimes, music blaring from the adjoining house may result in a headache for you. Sometimes, the sounds of household appliances like washing machines; televisions etc may cause you annoyance. 2.Children: In India, many arguments and family disputes arise by some unintentional act or mischief carried out by children. Similar thing happens between neighbors. Sometimes, a ball may smash your window pane or kids from your neighbors may damage your garden or disfigure your wall. 3.Problems faced while sharing facilities: Problems while sharing certain facilities are inevitable. For example, you may find the joint driveway blocked by your neighbor’s car. Or your child may complain that he or she is not allowed to play in the shared play area due to the dominance of your neighbor’s kids. 4.Late night hangouts by teenagers: although this problem is common in other countries too, it’s too rampant in India. A teenager from the neighborhood may have the habit of calling his friends to chat at the corner of the street, quite possibly near your home. They may indulge in smoking or eve teasing or other such activities, creating problems for you. 5.Encroachment of property: Sometimes, a neighbor might encroach your property by putting up a fence, a tree or any such structure on your space. Even if it doesn’t affect you much, the violation of property, even minimal, may be the source of annoyance to you. 6.Anti-social behaviour: Another most serious problem is: anti-social behaviour. Racial, religious or any other type of discrimination, gossiping, spreading rumours etc. This can have a very profound effect on the targeted person and is a very serious problem often faced by many households. 7.Environmental issues: Improper disposal of garbage, inadequate cleanliness of property, unkempt exteriors may also prove to be a serious problem for people living nearby. 8.Invasion of privacy: Another common problem, especially in India, is : invasion of privacy. Sometimes, CCTVs are installed in such a way which compromise one’s home’s privacy. Sometimes, the neighbors living on a higher floor level have a habit of watching your activities in your backside lawn. This also results in a serious and annoying problem. 9.Pet problems: Sometimes, neighbours have pets which are either annoying or dangerous. A dog which keeps digging in your front lawn, cattle which litter in your garden or a dog which snarls every time you go out, making you worry about your kid’s safety. 10.Irregular or unlawful activities: Some people indulge in unlawful activities, ranging from major to minor magnitude. For example, a neighbour may start a business of filling gas fuel in cylinders without a legal licence or may indulge in drug trafficking etc. 11.Stalking or bullying: Ladies and children are the most common targets of stalking and bullying. This is also a very serious problem faced by many people. 12.Theft: Unusual as it may sound, theft by neighbors is also a problem faced by many people. It’s not the big time stealing we are talking about but the pocketing of small things like cloth lines and clips which are more annoying as it appears undignified to approach your neighbors regarding matters which seem so small but are very annoying. 1.Assessment: Before beginning the solution process, it’s essential that the situation or the problem is assessed properly. a.The first thing while assessing a problem is its repeatability. It cannot be called a problem if it occurred once or twice. If it keeps on occurring repeatedly, then it can be termed as a problem. b. Is it the neighbor who is a problem or is it you? It’s essential to determine the root cause of the problem. You cannot blame your neighbor if he or she organizes a party or a banquet at day time (resulting in noise) and you sleep at that time. You should determine whether it’s your activity that is causing the problem or theirs. c.The third thing to be assessed is: Is what you consider to be a problem really a problem? Is it worth approaching your neighbour? d. It’s advisable to consult with a friend or your family before approaching your neighbor. 2. Communication: The simplest, most logical and the effective solution to every problem you face with your neighbors, is: communication. a. In many instances, your neighbors do not actually know that they are causing a problem to you and are acting out of ignorance. b. Sometimes, even if they know that they are creating a problem for you, the mentality of many of our countrymen is such that they won’t consider it a problem unless you inform them that it is. So, communicating with your neighbors about a problem is the foremost and most important step to solve it. Following are some tips while communicating with your neighbor: Do’s : Start with pleasantries.Compliment them on something good they have. Ask whether they have time. If they seem busy, just turn back with a pleasant goodbye and after asking them when they will be free. Talk in a polite tone. Talking politely and talking weakly are two completely different things. It’s the tone of your voice which registers first in the listener’s mind. Make the talk short yet pleasant. Be to the point. It’s good to make the listener comfortable by talking briefly on things of common interests, just to build a rapport but don’t waste time on unimportant things. If they have something to say, listen to them by letting them complete what they have to say. When the problem has been discussed, try to end the topic and start a new one before you end the discussion. Like asking them where they bought certain home decor, asking about their hobbies etc. Before leaving, politely make a request to them to address the problem you just discussed. End the discussion on a pleasant note. Like shaking their hand, complimenting their home decor, inviting them to your house etc. Don’ts: Don’t press on to talking with them when they seem to be going somewhere or if they are busy with other people. Don’t talk to them in front of their guests or other people. It’s better to talk when they are alone. Don’t raise your voice. Just keep your tone strong but polite. Don’t deviate from the problem to another issue. If there is another issue which comes up, politely say that it will be discussed afterwards. 3.Recognize the mentality: Different people should be approached in a different manner. Elderly people should be approached with much more respect and tolerance. Teenagers and youngsters should be approached in a friendly manner. Likewise, well educated people or professionals should be approached in a manner befitting their status while less educated or illiterate people should be approached in a way that they feel at ease with you. Do`s When approaching elder people, be sure not cause disrespect. Elderly people usually don’t create problems deliberately. When approaching youngsters, appear outgoing. Youngsters don’t like to be approached in a formal way. Catch them while they are walking on the street or on a park bench etc. Talk to them in an informal way and in a casual setting. When talking with educated people, be sure not to waste their time. Be polite and simplify your approach. When approaching less educated people, take into consideration their mentality. If the problem is about children, approach their parents in a pleasant way. Before discussing the problem, show to them that you are also genuinely interested in seeing their child well behaved and good mannered. If you have to talk to the child in front of his or her parents, talk in a friendly manner. If the problem is about a pet, start the talk in such a way that the owners don’t consider you an enemy of their pet. For example, start with: Your cat is so adorable and beautiful but it has an unfortunate habit of littering on my door mat. Don’t s: Never restore to physical punishment when dealing with problems with children or pets. It will only escalate the existing problems. Don’t restore to yelling and swearing. Don’t talk to unconcerned people of the household. For example, if a certain person is the head of the family, approach them instead of approaching directly to the one who is causing the problem. Don’t gossip around or discuss the problem with other neighbors. It will put the wrong doer in a defensive mode and they won’t accept their mistake. Basically, the problems faced by neighbors can be classified into two types. A) Problems which affect more than one household or the whole locality. Like improper disposal of garbage etc. B) Problems which affect only one household. 4.While dealing with children and teenagers, for their boisterous behaviour or activities like late night hangouts or noisy games, it’s better to approach the group collectively in a friendly manner. Instead of angrily abolishing them from playing or hanging out, they should be explained how their activity is causing problems. Another good idea is to suggest them some other venue for their activity, like a playground etc. 5.How to solve problems affecting the whole locality: It should be noted that there are problems, which either affect just individuals or which affect the whole locality or more than one household. These problems are such that, if addressed properly, can be solved with ease and swiftness. For example, If a neighbour is not disposing off his garbage properly or causing any environmental problems by polluting the area, then two or more neighbours can approach him and request him to refrain from doing so. The mere idea that many people are being affected by his action will mollify the person enough that he won’t repeat the action again. If he still persists, the requests should be increased by diversifying the people who visit the wrong doing neighbour. The increased number of approaches and that to by different people will pressurize him enough not to repeat his act, even if he feels forced to do so. No one has the right to spoil the contentment of others by his improper activities. 6.To solve problems like invasion of property, encroachment of property and anti-social behaviour, the first step, as mentioned above, is communication. Many a times, such errors are result of ignorance and a single reminder or communication can solve them. However, if the neighbour is persisting with his activities, and you find it impossible to avoid him, the most sensible step will be: taking the help of some other neighbour and asking them to approach the wrong doer and talk on your behalf. Asking them to accompany you while approaching the wrong doer may also be effective. 6.To solve problems like invasion of property, encroachment of property and anti-social behaviour, the first step, as mentioned above, is communication. Many a times, such errors are result of ignorance and a single reminder or communication can solve them. However, if the neighbour is persisting with his activities, and you find it impossible to avoid him, the most sensible step will be: taking the help of some other neighbour and asking them to approach the wrong doer and talk on your behalf. Asking them to accompany you while approaching the wrong doer may also be effective. 7.Anti-social behaviour is one of the trickiest problems. Its solutions depend on whether you are living alone, your age and many other aspects. The best approach is to trying befriending them and asking them directly whether they have a problem with you. Usually, those indulging in anti-social behaviour like gossiping and spreading rumours are afraid of communicating with the person directly, whom they are targeting. Your direct communication with them (which should be polite yet strong) will make them seem immature in the eyes of others and this may effectively put a stop to their ways. Similarly, if a neighbour is involved in petty thefts, the best solution is to catch them red-handed. If they still persist, the suggestion that you may inform others about their annoying acts may silence them. If you are facing racial or religious discrimination, and approaching the neighbour is not working then the following steps may help: a) Don’t get too near to them. However, practise positive behaviour by staying out of their way. Try to help them without making them feel awkward. Usually, such behaviours remove the barrier as lack of understanding of each other’s cultures and religions is the reason of such mentalities. b) Remember their festivals and gift them with appropriate presents. People are more inclined to remove their misunderstandings at such occasions. c) Maintain a good relationship with other neighbours, the more the number of neighbours who like you, the more inclined an intolerant person will be to connect with you. d) Be willing to make the first move to build a friendship. 8.Unlawful activities should be dealt with utmost seriousness and swiftness. Because, if not addressed properly, they may be of seriously sinister consequences. The first step, as in all problems, will be to communicate with the wrong doer. As this problem will affect the whole locality, a group of people should approach the concerned person and talk to him. If he refuses to stop, the locality leader or landlord should be approached. If still the problem persists, the information should be given to the authorities. 9.Stalking: Another serious problem usually faced by women and children. According to Wikipedia, Stalking is unwanted or obsessive attention by an individual or group toward another person. Stalking behaviours are related to harassment and intimidation and may include following the victim in person or monitoring them. If you are a woman and someone is stalking you, the first thing to do is: collect information about the stalker and notify a trusted friend in the neighbourhood. Following are some tips if you feel you are being stalked: Inform your friends. Don’t feel shy or foolish in doing so. If the stalker knows that more than one person is aware about his activity, he will be inclined to stop. If you get any written notes from the stalker, or emails, text messages etc. Keep them as evidence. If the stalker is a known person, inform someone of your trusted contacts within your friends or family about them. Be physically safe. Keep your doors and windows locked or at the very least bolted. Ask some of your friends or relatives, preferably who can speak strongly, to have a word with the wrong doer. If you feel you are in physical danger, inform your neighbours so that they may be notified and ready in case you need help. Don`ts Never try to interact with the stalker. They are not rational and don’t respect your privacy. Interacting with them will only make them continue their activity. Don’t feel foolish or immature if you feel stalked. It’s not your fault nor is it cowardice to take precautions in such cases. Often people take stalking lightly, but this should not stop you from taking precautions. Never share your personal information in places where it can accessed by public. For example: sharing contact information or personal information on social media where you don’t have any possible way of knowing who else has accessed it. 10.Bullying: Always maintain such a relationship with children that they feel comfortable in sharing their problems with you. If you feel your child seems frightened by a certain house of neighbourhood or a person, calmly ask them the reason. Encourage them in sharing their fears. Even if those fears are unfounded, don’t scold them. Instead encourage them on sharing their issues with you. If the child is really being bullied by children of his age or older, the first thing to do is: make the child let go of his fear. Make him understand that you are behind him to protect him. Ask him to avoid the company of such children. If the problem still exists, make the bullying children realise that their behavior is not going unnoticed. This may cause them to stop. Never consider it undignified to take up the issue of bullying by brushing aside your child saying that its all a part of childhood, because, bullying can seriously affect the psychology of your child. However, encourage the child to stand up to offenders in a dignified way instead of being over-protective. The best way of solving problems is to avoid them, which can be done by being a good neighbor. Be outgoing. Interact with your neighbors. Let them know who you are. People are usually afraid and eel awkward with people whom they don’t know. Respect and try to understand their lifestyle, culture and religion. Respect their privacy but also be friendly enough that they share any problems with you if they feel to do so. Refrain from causing any problems to them, especially those mentioned above. Give special attention to neighbour of old age. Do their chores and keep an eye out for their needs. Don’t feel offended even if they seem ungrateful. Good & Bad neighbourhood defines price controls of the property and real estate As it can be expected, the nature of neighbourhood surrounding a house plays a significant role in its price and directly influences its demand. A house situated in a good neighbourhood will attract a lot of buyers who will be willing to pay comparatively extra amount to acquire it. However, a house, even with its comparatively lesser price and better facilities, will be affected negatively if it’s surrounded by a bad neighbourhood. This is a universal observation. According to a research journal authored by Steve Gibbons and published by the London school of economics, “home buyers pay more for a property in high income and educationally rich neighbourhoods than they do for a similar property in poorer, low education neighbourhoods. Property crime rates may be lower, streets safer; the physical environment may be better maintained.” The economical status of many middle class Indians and their mentality is such that they want to buy one house and live there for the rest of their lives. This makes them very careful while selecting the house and the most considered and carefully inspected element while buying one is : the surrounding community and the neighbourhood. So, in order to attract more buyers, a locality or a housing enclave must maintain a standard or a set of general rules to be followed by all so that the locality is reputed to be a good one.
Posted on: Tue, 21 Oct 2014 12:23:24 +0000
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