The travails of air travel. Enjoy the bizarre. 1. I wake up at 4:45am (because I booked a 7:05am flight to be able to do some customer work today...oh naive me). 2. I arrive at the airport to find absolutely no one there...except the 18 people in line for the US Air counter. No kiosks. Very bad, US Air. One employee. Very bad, US Air. 18 minutes later still one employee still working on the same guys ticket. Very bad, US Air. 3. I stop at the ATM to get some cash only to see ATM down for maintenance midnight to 6am...its 6:45am. Very bad, Arvest. 4. The airport display says US Air flight 3620 Gate A8. It also says US Air flight 3620 Gate A1. I find the US Air plane on Americans gate so I decided to take my chances and fly that one. I should have chose the other one. 5. My seat isnt on the bulkhead as selected, its in front of the exit row (seat wont recline). I never select that seat. US Air randomly changed my seat assignment. Very bad, US Air. 6. I take a nap. Very good, US Air. 7. I awaken 10 minutes after the start of my nap for some mundane announcement. Something about flowers arent yellow, theyre browning now or some other nonsense. 8. The flight seems awfully long so I check. I realize that weve been flying for 2 hours and 50 minutes on a 1 hour and 50 minute flight. The pilot announces that were vectoring. Translated Were flying around in a giant square pattern until we land...or run out of fuel. 9. Finally, we land. 10. My 90 minute layover is now 10 minutes. There are two flights on time...mine is one of them. We land at terminal E and I have to go to terminal B. Thats like going from Tulsa to Houston. I start booking it when I realize that I have a massive knot in my calf. I hobble along like the hunchback of Notre Dame. I even make funny slurping sounds figuring it will scare people out of my way. It works. 11. I make my flight only to discover that my exit row window is now the very last seat on the plane in seats that wont recline. Once again, US Air has randomly changed my seat on me. Very bad, US Air. Im not happy. 12. It gets worse. The pilot announces that we have to get fuel. He then goes on to announce that due to the thunderstorm they cant fuel the plane. No ETA. Very bad, US Air. 13. 48 minutes later, they reopen the ramp area so we can get fuel. 14. 30 minutes later, we start to taxi. Strangely, the pilot does two donuts on the ramp. No joke. We do two donuts. 15. I hear bits and pieces...delays...planes ahead of us...blah blah blah. I fall asleep. 16. I awaken from my wonderful nap seemingly hours later only to realize that we are next in line to take off. That was a 45 minute nap. 17. I have to pee. The plane drops about 200 feet during our takeoff as we pass through a thunderstorm. I almost peed my pants but I held it...only to hear due to turbulence there will be no service and everyone must remain in your seats. Crap...or not crap. 18. Why is this 35 minute flight taking an hour I ask myself only to realize that it really was taking an hour due to...well...its Atlanta its ALWAYS delayed. 19. I land. Im ill. Im mistaken for Kermit the Frog. Im hungry. 20. No food that is edible unless I want to go into diabetic shock. 21. Hertz to the rescue! They give me a Mazda and not another Chevy. Its zippy. Thank goodness, Im tired of getting Chevy carst that break. Transmission, air conditioning, etc. Not very good cars right now...those Chevy things. One question though. Why is there a thing that says your car is clean and safe when I cant see out of the dirty windows? Never understood why Hertz wont clean the windows. Very bad, Hertz. 22. Hampton to the rescue! Sir, your room is not ready, can we upgrade you for the inconvenience? O-h y-e-a-h! Very good, Hilton. Very good. 23. Jasons Deli to the rescue. 4:30 was a long time ago. Jasons Deli salad bar to the rescue. It was perfect! The Manager even stopped by to ask if he could refill my tea. O-h Y-e-a-h! Very good, Jasons Deli. Very good.
Posted on: Mon, 21 Jul 2014 21:38:28 +0000
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