“The universe is big. It’s vast and complicated and ridiculous. And sometimes – very rarely – impossible things just happen and we call them miracles.” “The Universe has to move forward. Pain and loss, they define us as much as happiness or love.” For the first time in many years, I feel as though I am now not only able to breathe but see the sun through the storm. When you’ve had enough, that’s how you know that you’re halfway there, right? I’ve thought about this a lot over the past few years, especially during the points where I felt that enough had been too much. When would I be half way out of the darkness? When would this anxiety go away and when would the panic attacks cease to occur on a daily basis? What a hell of a year. It has been the most stressful, but also the most rewarding. “One may suffer a world of demons for the sake of an angel.” There were many moments of self-doubt, anger, resentment, and many other hurt feelings. Where was the fairness? I’m not trying to skate by without taking any responsibility for my own actions or mistakes. Lord knows that I’m the king of mistakes. No – hold on – that’s a rubbish title. I know full well that I helped make this world. I’ve learned that it’s not about whether you fail or succeed; it’s about what you take away from the experiences. “The way I see it, every life is a pile of good things and…bad things. The good things don’t always soften the bad, but vice-versa; the bad things don’t necessarily spoil the good things and make them unimportant.” I had decided long ago that it wouldn’t be fair to post propaganda messages on social media to spread venom. It was an ongoing matter that didn’t need to be sprayed across everyone else’s lives. I kept quiet. No matter what happens next, I am approaching the cusp of the end. Therefore, I have decided to post one message on the matter. I’m not writing this to spread hate or malice. This is far from that. As I come to this journey’s end, I write this message to my family and friends as a statement of thanks. It has been a long and winding road, but I’ve had the best people with me through it. “However dark it got, I’d turn around and there they’d be.” You’ve helped me vent and led me towards better directions. I’ve had the best of friends who took me out to celebrate the signing the papers and those who listened to me through all of the setbacks. You all gave me hope when others were taking it away. Some people believe that success is the best form of revenge, but I’m not looking for revenge. I’m looking for the sun to shine tomorrow. I wish the best for all parties and hope everyone finds true happiness. There is no point in harboring ill-feelings, where will they get us in the end? – The answer is that obviously, it’ll turn us into Daleks – they’re so cross. Although I often had trouble seeing it, I now realize “that there is, you know, surprisingly always hope”. Now that it is all soon coming to a close; all parts can be finalized and sent to the past, much like how a Weeping Angel zaps a victim into the past. I want to thank my family; you’ve been there every step of the way. I want to thank my friends; you have all become the best of me. I want to thank Benjamin and Wicket. – I want to also thank Doctor Who, of course. “Now I get my reward.” Life is like an adventure with the Doctor. The best part is you don’t know where the faulty navigation system will take you. Remember that “a straight line may be the shortest distance between two points, but it is by no means the most interesting.” My past year has taken me to so many new and amazing experiences. It may take you to Centralia. It may take you out for drinks at local bars and pubs or on Amish Mafia marathons. It may take you to Christmas Candy Lane or to new experiences like 5K’s and birthday weekend trips. It may take you as close as the comfy chairs in your living room where your dog teaches you the simple pleasures of tearing a box apart. It may even be as simple as a trip to the hospital because someone doesn’t know how to watch where they’re walking. Or, it may take you to Captain on Acid’s at TJ Rockwell’s or a surprise birthday party at ABC, where an idiot may attempt to light more than just the birthday candles with his lighter. “Small, beautiful events are what life is all about.” Simple events can teach you that you will enjoy running in 5K’s (especially when there’s beer at the end), that friends can be best of me, that Green Beer – no matter the novelty or appeal – is just bad, or that there is someone out there for whom it is worthwhile to take time off work, or even – and I know this almost sounds blasphemous – that it’s ok to miss Doctor Who on Saturday nights at 8PM (as long as you DVR the show). Take each opportunity or “coincidence” in; remember to turn left, from Underhenge to the Medusa Cascade. You never know what will come of accidentally liking someone’s picture or where a visit to Five Guys and a trip to Regal Cinema Harrisburg 14 will take you. Raise your beer to the awkward moments; “Count the Shadows”, “Don’t Blink”, and obviously… “Run!” This experience is my regeneration; I’ve gotten to become a new me. A better me. I will be a “hoper of far-flung hopes and the dreamer of improbable dreams” and I will live by the thought that “there’s no point in being grown up if you can’t act a little childish sometimes”. The song has ended, but the story is not over. I now have a blank page of paper to begin the next chapter and I am very thankful to have each and every one of you there with me to fill these pages with stories. After all, “we’re all just stories in the end”. * All Quotations and references are from various episodes of “Doctor Who”, I am out of school and far too lazy to properly cite sources.
Posted on: Thu, 06 Jun 2013 03:02:48 +0000
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