The voice of Pompilius (from the ‘protests of death’) Confused and in bitterness I think on my past life. I, a sinner, have failed many more times than the grains of sand in the sea shores. My evil desires have brought me constantly away from you and I have flirted with the world, with the flesh and the Devil; in such a way, that I cannot say in all truth, unless I lie: Lord, to you I surrender my desires. On the contrary I must say: Lord, my desires are against you. All the movements of my soul, every act of my will, all my internal energy, each one of my projects and desires are against your will, my Lord! O, weakness of my weaknesses, this is where you have brought me in! My sweet God, how much you have suffered, how well have you overcome my hardness, giving me your light so that I may know you! And now, by your grace you are changing the direction of my heart towards you. I repent; I am pained and perplexed, ashamed of what I have done. O, time that I have wasted in vain, where are you? O, faults that I have committed, where are you? O, my sins, what if now your fruit? O, pride, cause of every evil, where have you dragged me to? Lord my God, to you I cry for help, to you I invoke and in you I trust. I commend my entire life into your infinite mercy and goodness. Do not call for judgement to the one who considers himself defeated and confesses himself guilty, not only of one but of infinite number of sins. Do not give sentence against the one who with his mouth and in his heart proclaims himself guilty, because if it depended on me, I could only condemn myself justly. I have sinned much against you and I am worthless to look up to heaven because of my iniquity. I detest, my God, my past wrong doing; in tears and blood I repent of my past sins. Do not ask me to satisfy the offences I have committed, for I have not means to pay you back; my debt is infinite. Between finite and infinite there is not adequate proportion. Do not ask me to give you an account of my life, Lord, for I am guilty. Don’t tell me: give me an account of your behaviour, for this would be the most acute arrow to wound me. By the favours received form you so badly profited by me, you can tell me: my beloved has committed much foolishness in my home. Lord, I pray you blot out my iniquities. I believe, strengthen my faith, and make it grow, for without you we are nothing. I shall not trust in my energy; my strength shall not save me. Only your hand and the power of your arm and the light of your face shall save me. You can forgive more sins than those I can commit. Your mercy is greater than my misery, Lord! My God, my Love, my God and my all. I love you more than my real self and I do not love myself except because of your love. Remember the word given to your servant, in which I put my trust. Do not send me away from your presence, since your hands created me under your image and likeness. Let my voice reach your ears. Remember, Lord, that I am the cause of your coming. Do not reject me today. You searched for me and acquired me with the suffering on the Cross, so let you suffering be not in vain! Have mercy on me, my God, and cancel my sin. Purify me, Lord. Pierce my heart with the dart of your Love. Late have I known you, late have I loved you, ancient Beauty. Works of the Lord, O, bless the Lord and exalt him forever. Bless my soul the Lord and forget not his favours upon you.
Posted on: Thu, 20 Mar 2014 17:57:46 +0000
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