There are moral courage and physical courage. Being associated to a female over 20 years, with love and kindness, we shared together was beautiful while it lasts. Now that, I am better insight into this, I was totally devastated with this. Lies, cheats, unwise, shallow thinking, pretentious, all that are too much to withstand for me from this relationship. I have done my bit as a husband as much as I could, so did she. Still my kid hopefully understands the situation. Things are jumbled since my mothers departure from this life. With her, everything is perfect. Without her this household is like a ship without a rudder. So many excuses I have to take is too much. She is defying me. One must know ones own place. The rules are there. The preferences of ours are different. Material things are just inanimate object that is worthless, while you are behaving in a wrong way. If she wants to enjoy my provisions, she must listen to my pleas. Never. She goes on as usual. She came late at night. I have to take her BS for long. Enough is enough. My stature is degraded by her ways of idiotic, wrong and pretentious nonsense. I cajoled her, begged her, but she never listens to me. I am fed up. I could forgive her for she does not know any better. It is like playing a harp to a buffalo. I took her idisyncracy for too long with my dignity being blasted to nothing, I could forgo the grudge that poor ignorant uneducated boy who is smoking pot and offered me some. For he lacks how to behave to an elder. It is also a failure on the police department of Bahan to look into this, but it is not of my concern anymore. We are a failed state. I could understand their sufferings. Well, it is old me, still trying to do the best I could. There are so many things that I dislike nowadays. People are like beasts. The men of robe are doing things that is forbidden by Buddha. Transitional period is too long. Could we overcome this? I have no words for it. I shall guard my own estate. Law and order in Bahan Township is a joke. To protect and serve, is it? No, I do not think so. They are also pitiful for their salary is a joke. So the never ending story goes on. Yesterday I wanted to stay at Inya Lake Hotel for a breather, staying away from her, but my father is my lord, I have to look after him. So I came back. This is a fairy tale of our land. Carry on as usual, we soon shall be a part of China. So I would be an onlooker for any progress here, and I shall be wise after this incident. She is not worth it. The look on her face is not befitting to be called as a lady. Let her be. And the law of nature shall take a true form against anyone, me included. I am not free from sins. We all are sinners in one way or either. The kid and police force of Bahan township, please know your place. It is too tedious affair.
Posted on: Fri, 10 Oct 2014 01:16:20 +0000
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