There are some days of the week where you may find that you lack a little of the drive or confidence you normally would have. Hey, weve all felt this way, and its okay to admit it. Some days arent as awesome as others, but life goes on, as the saying goes. Whether it be in the workplace, or in our professional lives, individual accountability is, I think, of utmost importance, especially as it relates to what we achieve, and how we feel about those achievements. However, it is true that sometimes there is another factor that must be considered, which certainly does have to do with others: Some people are just assholes. Madeline Wahl wrote an excellent article in the Huffington Post this week about what we do when we realize that we are confronted with this phenomenon, and in it, she notes that, this might be a good time to check in with this quote by William Gibson: Before you diagnose yourself with depression or low self-esteem, first make sure in fact you are not surrounded by assholes. Sure, this is somewhat tongue in cheek, but I find there is useful wisdom here as well. Heres a link to the full article: huffingtonpost/madeline-wahl/10-lessons-you-learn-from-assholes-in-your-life_b_5891250.html As an exercise, can you think about a personal shortcoming you may have had in the past which was perhaps worsened by guilt, or even taunting, imposed on you by another individual? Now imagine removing them from the equation altogether... would you really have felt as bad about that perceived shortcoming if that person hadnt contributed to making it an emotional scar for you? The point here is not to shed our own issues by shrugging them off as the results of actions taken by others around us... but there are indeed times when we need to recognize that there are people who, for instance, when claiming to be joking, are really stabbing... or when claiming to be instructors on lifes mistakes, they may in fact be using yours as an opportunity to make themselves feel better about their own past transgressions. Check out Madelines article, linked above, and consider the ways she advises you can actually learn from these negative experiences... and as a final bit of wisdom for you and your day, also remember that we can CHOOSE whether we want to be happy, and carry ourselves to a different beat, or if we want to allow others to dictate how we feel, and whether those feelings will include overall happiness and a fulfilling sense of self-worth. And finally, something I always recommend is that by learning to have a thicker skin, you may also come to realize that you have been one who has taken a stab at someone else and made their day a little less enjoyable... Im guilty of this; I think we all have participated at one time or another. So in learning to be tougher and more confident in ourselves, we must also balance this with learning to be more supportive of others around us... when we hold inner confidence, we also have no need to attack and criticize others for unjust reasons; and hence, we are presented with further opportunities for self improvement. :)
Posted on: Wed, 19 Nov 2014 18:53:08 +0000
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