There are three main styles of communicating – #aggressive, #passive and #assertive. Aggressive communication is expressed in a forceful and hostile manner, and usually involves alienating messages such as ‘you-statements’ (blaming the other person and accusing them of being wrong or at fault) and labelling. In addition, the person’s tone of voice and facial expressions are unfriendly. The assumption behind aggressive communication is ‘your needs don’t matter’ (I win/you lose). Passive #communication involves putting your needs last. You don’t express your thoughts or feelings, or ask for what you want. When you use passive communication it feels like others are walking all over you because you don’t assert your own needs. So you bottle things up and might feel resentful. The assumption behind passive communication is ‘my needs don’t matter’ (you win/I lose – and I resent you for that). Assertive communication involves clearly expressing what you think, how you feel and what you want, without demanding that you must have things your way. The basic underlying assumption is ‘we both matter – let’s try to work this out’. Assertive communication increases your likelihood of getting what you want, avoiding conflict and maintaining good relationships (I win/you win). When you are assertive you can: express your own thoughts, feelings and needs make reasonable requests of other people stand up for your own rights say ‘no’ to requests from others at times, without feeling guilty. Poor communication often creates tension and bad feelings within relationships
Posted on: Sat, 09 Aug 2014 00:07:39 +0000
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