There has been a lot going on over here. But before I share all the changes, I wanted to share a verse. Ecclesiastes 7:3, Sorrow is better than laughter: for by the sadness of the countenance the heart is made better. We all deal with sadness. There are varying degrees. A child may be sad it is raining outside, when they really wanted to play. A woman may be sad that she cant fit in her favorite dress once the baby is born. Or how about the woman whos arms are empty because she can not conceive? There may be a man who is sad that he lost his job and has nothing lined up. Sadness. Its just part of this life. We have sad days at the Little home. Today was no doubt one of them. Molly has been struggling with a lot of nausea and many headaches. Her body temperature is having issues regulating and I noticed some swallowing issues tonight at dinner. Even though we have upped her steroid, the pressure increases. Tomorrow we will see the Oncologist and hopefully be scheduling her MRI for the next week or so. It pains us to see her hurting. She is so quiet about her discomfort. I suspect she is protecting us from worry. She also has a hard time, I think, with expressing how and where she is hurting. After having a rough 24 hours and with Peter working tonight, I thought I would take the girls out to Chick-fil-a and let them run around in the play area. Molly was perked up so now is our chance. After a few minutes of playing, Samantha came out and said she needed to talk. She reluctantly told me that there was a little girl of about six who was annoying her and Molly. Knowing she shouldnt say such things, she quietly waited for me to respond. I asked her to continue and tell me what was she doing. Mom, she pointed to Mollys cheeks and asked why were they so chubby. She said they looked funny. Breath... Mom, she is hurting Mollys feelings. And mine too. I dont like it. Be calm... By this time, Molly comes out, sad expression and plops herself down. Mommy, I dont like that girl. She makes me feel bad. She said I look funny. I told her my medicine make my cheeks look this way but she wont leave me alone. She begins to stare off and poke at her cheeks as if considering what to do about them. Sadness. Why should my daughters have to face such things? Why are kids always so blunt? What do I do now? Sam got a look on her face and said she wanted to go back and play. I could tell she wanted to be the great big sister and set the little girl straight. Part of me wanted to yell, Go get her! But what I really said was to be kind. With a nod, Sam was off and in the play area. Meanwhile, Molly decided to go back in if I would come with her. We headed back. Now, before this story gets too long (maybe it already has), I will end it with we all had ice cream and went home. But not without a little sadness. So what can this verse do for us tonight? Well, if I believe that Gods Word is true, which I totally do, then I have to believe we will come out the better. How? Well, after tonight, I think that my girls will learn how to be more compassionate to others. My daughters both know that words sting. And they know that things arent always as they seem. So if I go by this verse, then my daughters, through this sorrow called cancer, will learn to be more compassionate to others and remember that words are so much more important than we think. What did Mom learn? How will my heart be made better? Well, I wanted to march right over to the father and tell him that he should watch his kids for one thing instead of being on his phone, (yes, I was mad), but that he should also teach them some manners. But I didnt. Why? Well, not by strength of my own. I am a mom, and we can get mean if our babies are hurt. But because of this soft whisper in my head that said calm down, I was able to remember that Christ was hurt with words and He never bit back. Instead, he was humble, and so I must be. Verse 4 says the heart of the wise is in the house of mourning. Is it possible that through all of this we will become more wise? Well, I can already see it in my girls. A maturity that I never had at their age. So even though I would never wish this upon them, I gladly accept the good that comes with it. The wisdom, compassion, empathy... forgiveness.
Posted on: Tue, 16 Sep 2014 23:17:33 +0000
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