There is a great fundamental issue that overrides many of the things we can do to heal ourselves and the world: the human tendency to step into feeling like a victim and blaming others, instead of taking personal responsibility. Its not just a habit; its an addiction, just like a chemical addiction. When you step into the victim position by pointing the finger of blame, you short the circuitry in yourself that allows you to feel the natural organic ecstasy of fully standing in a co-creative position with the universe itself. Thats the fundamental developmental task we face at this stage of our evolution: opening up the wiring that allows us to feel organic ecstasy for longer and longer periods of time. At present, most people cant sustain the feelings that arise with this opening, so they slip into a dangerous addiction to blame with its corresponding feeling of a gleeful gotcha! Once were accustomed to a certain internal chemical state, we feel comfortable with that state even if its attached to really dysfunctional behavior like that glee that arises from apportioning blame. When we try new behavior and our neurochemistry changes, it feels uncomfortable at first. Moving to a new emotional and biochemical state may feel foreign. Even though it may be a healthier one, it is unfamiliar. Usually in couples therapy, the first issue to be addressed is: Are you willing to make a commitment to solving the problem? One of the most typical responses is, Well, Id be committed if she were. It takes about an hour and a half of discussion to work through that objection, until at some point in the process, both people bond and turn on the leader. https://madmimi/p/cf9835?fe=1&pact=24716607463
Posted on: Thu, 28 Aug 2014 17:12:30 +0000
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