There is a trend for older horses to throw their riders off their backs. The horses are calling it their “buck-it list.” I guess it is okay for them to horse around a little bit. (You laughing at jokes like this are spurring me on.) The fisherman’s daughter liked to dress up in fishnets. The other fishermen found her al-lure-ing and thought her to be quite the catch. Her name was Annette. But she was the one that got away. Turns out that she was on the crabby side. When I was a kid, I thought I grow up to be over seven feet tall. It’s because whenever I had a problem, my dad would tell me that I’d outgrow it. Did you hear about the butcher who backed up into his meat grinder? Seems he got a little behind in his work. I guess the special that week was rump roast. His name was Chuck and his boss grounded him. His brother was a lens maker who fell into his grinder and made a spectacle of himself. I have a rare butterfly net. It’s guaranteed to be a real collector’s item. I’d encourage more people to live by the principles in which they believe, but I’m not sure self-indulgence is a principle. In France, at every fire hydrant the dogs go oui-oui. Kermit the Frog went into bank and approached the loan officer, Patricia Wax. He said, “I’m Kermit Jagger. My dad is Mick Jagger and I need a $10 thousand loan so I can take Miss Piggy on a European vacation.” Ms. Wac asked him if he had collateral, so he handed her a statuette of an elephant. She said the bank couldn’t accept it as it wasn’t worth anything. “Please, is there anything you can do?” She excused herself, took it to the bank president, told him of the conversation, showed him the statuette, and asked “What kind of collateral is this?” The bank president replied "It’s a nick-knack, Patty Wac. Give the frog a loan. His old man’s a Rolling Stone.” My wife’s casseroles have been easier to eat ever since I ran those on-line recipes through my Spam filter. Hormel should do some limited time “New Spam International Flavors” - like, for instance Nigerian Bank letter, Russian Bride, Canadian Viagra - all of them artificial, of course. I dropped my toothpaste into the toilet this morning. I was Crestfallen. I dropped my almost empty milk carton on the floor, spilling it all. I started crying before I was admonished to stop. The laundry detergent was on the top shelf where I couldn’t reach. So I waited for the high Tide to lower. To save money on Obamacare, you will now get your vision checked at your local DMV. I don’t believe in reincarnation – but in my last life I did. But then, I repeat myself. Doggy guru: The secret to getting what you want in life is to tilt your head and show those sad doggy eyes.
Posted on: Mon, 01 Jul 2013 22:19:51 +0000
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