There is no separation between the world we live in, the people we relate to, and the physical and mental thoughts, reactions, beliefs, and behaviors we produce. These three areas are our universe. They are connected and form organized patterns - a recurrent, systematic, and strategic process for negotiating life stress. We all have patterns we use every day to get along. Usually, patterns are so comfortable for us that we don’t even notice them. If they are healthy, they produce success, if they are unhealthy they produce conflict. Original patterns come from our parents and are generational, passing from caregiver to child in a knowable way. Once received, the pattern structure is held to be self-evident and becomes the basis for our thinking and actions. It moves us to attack certain problems and avoid others. Rarely is it questioned or changed. Our reasoning remains solidly based on what we believe we can do, who we believe we are, and what we are taught our limitations to be by others. Adam is from the wrong side of the tracks. He wants desperately to be important and popular. He meets Julia whose wealthy father gives her anything she wants. They begin to date, get married, and have legendary fights. Adam constantly gives in, fearful that he will lose, the ‘success’ he gained when he married her. How will it end? In this relationship, Adam has a pattern. Julia has a pattern. Their pattern together never works because neither is willing to own the pattern they have. The result is an ongoing conflict, that turns like a rat on a hamster wheel. It ends when the couple recognizes the pattern and changes the environment (someone leaves), relationship (they work to change individually or together), or physical and mental belief (Julia being spoiled and Adam wanting a trophy wife). Otherwise the relationship may end but the pattern continues. This blog will talk about patterns and show how they operate in people’s lives. The key ideas will be more complex than the simple examples above. Patterns are highly individual, but do have general themes, which we will open for discussion. Thanks for reading. I look forward to your feedback.
Posted on: Thu, 04 Jul 2013 00:55:58 +0000
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