There is something about losing a loved one that never goes away and can hit you all of a sudden and all over again for no particular reason that you can put your finger on. I can be okay for extended periods of time but then I have a day like today where I just feel so miserable and keep tearing up. Death is just so bloody well permanent. I miss Adam so very very very much. Theres the pain in my throat and in my heart again. I want him here with me, not just in spirit. I want to watch his energy again and I want to listen to him talk again. I want to hold him and feel his whiskers against my cheek. I want to tell him I love him and I want to hear him say one more time I love you too mum while he gives me one of his big bear hugs. But thats not possible. It will never be possible. There is plenty to be grateful for but nothing will ever fill that hole that is Adams place in my heart.
Posted on: Sat, 22 Mar 2014 23:20:04 +0000
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