Theres a line from the Buddha that may seem discouraging of relationships. The Buddha says that everything that is dear to us causes pain. I didnt like that when I first read it at the beginning of my practice, but after a while I realized that it’s simply an expression of the truth. It doesnt mean we shouldn’t have relationships. It doesnt mean not to have things dear to you. It just means that in this life of change, we will lose everything thats dear to us, unless that which is dear loses us first. Everything will change. It wont be what it was, or it will no longer be what we wanted, or we’ll stop loving it and then well feel bad about it, or well love it so very much and something will happen to it, and then it wont be available to us, and on and on and on. This life is full of getting used to losses. The only adequate response is to love fully and realize we have a precious short life. The teaching that everything dear to us causes pain has helped me to be more clear that Im eager to use relationship as a practice. It helps me remember not to mortgage away any of my days by having a grudge or a grievance or making myself distant. That would simply cause a rupture in that steadfast, universal love that is so joyful. Sylvia Boorstein, Ph.D
Posted on: Sat, 01 Feb 2014 01:55:11 +0000
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