Theres nothing that comforts me except for knowing that Rachel is no longer hurting. Jesus, I miss her. Theres nothing I can do but cry. That laugh, bombastic and heard through the whole house can probably still be heard if you listen. She was the one that could out-argue the sharpest of wits. She constantly challenged me. She could make you feel a myriad of emotions, and she did for me the whole time we knew each other. I remember long nights after shows at Jonathan Childs in the driveway, just talking for hours. Sometimes, in rare form, shed struggle with men that couldnt keep up with her. Everything was simple and straight forward with her. She was one of the most intelligent women I have known, but also easy to get. You always knew where she stood on most everything- and I loved that. She didnt flake, sway, or waffle. She was a rock for me, hell, for all of us. I remember sitting under the stars on my deck with her and Seth Atchley, discussing religion, drinking wine, solving all of the problems. These are some of my fondest memories. She never once judged me when I had serious bouts with belief, she just had questions. She was a constant student of life. Sometimes those lessons evaded her, but shed stand up and move forward. I remember once that I made her extremely angry and within minutes we were both laughing. She didnt have time for grudges. It angers me that I have forgotten so many moments with her. In my day to day, I just never thought of capturing the small moments- Us at Starbucks, at a show, having drinks downtown, all of us as friends constantly around each other in all aspects of our life moving about like a single life form and Rachel as the brain. We are lost with out her. I am thankful that I was there to capture her in camera like she really was before the storms hit; the winds of change that tossed her back and forth. This is the Rachel I will remember- Beautiful, strong, sharp and sometimes biting, Rachel. The Rachel that fought for everything she had. Even in these photos, you could see uncertainty. I see that now. She knew this was going to bring her a fight that she may not win, but she never let us in on it. Dammit, Rachel, you were stronger than any of us. Dearest Rachel, I know you are gone now, but I am broken at this moment. I miss you. We are all expressing our thankfulness for you to each other. This is how well remember you, through recalling moments about you, and how you came in to our lives like a gust of wind, but left like a whisper. Dearest friends, I love you all.
Posted on: Mon, 31 Mar 2014 01:39:28 +0000
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