There’s an old news adage that goes: “When a dog bites a man, that is not news, because it happens so often. But if a man bites a dog, that is news.” Imagine my surprise when I came across something from the LA Times that actually questioned Michelle Obama’s latest pet project. Now that really is news. Hot on the heels of her disastrous Federal Healthy Lunch program, the First Lady has launched a new initiative called “Drink Up” which encourages people to…wait for it…drink water. Mrs. Obama has teamed up with Hollywood celebs and corporate partners to get us all to drink more water. “At least one more glass a day,” she says. “Water is so basic, and because it is so plentiful, sometimes we just forget about it amid all the ads we watch on television and all the messages we receive every day about what to eat and drink. The truth is, water just gets drowned out,” said Obama at a rally in Watertown, Wis. Oh thank God. Finally someone has the nads to stand up for quality H20. Bobby Boucher must be grinning from ear to ear. No longer will Americans be thirsty because Michelle has shown them the way. Think of all the near-dehydrations that will be averted by this proactive campaign. Also, I’m digging the pun: water just gets drowned out. Ha ha. With stuff that edgy I’d bet Chris Rock is writing her material. The lunch program, which served healthy inedible gruel to schoolchildren, was a major embarrassment. Principals reported that kids were tossing the food in the trash because it was so disgusting. One student from Kentucky described the healthy choices as tasting like vomit. Based on this failure it comes as no surprise that Mrs. Obama would choose something as universally uncontroversial as water. Everybody likes it. The body needs it. It does not taste like vomit. Unfortunately for Michelle, this seemingly innocent initiative is not above scrutiny. She claims that by drinking more water people will have more energy and it will even cure headaches. This is untrue. If you are not dehydrated, the only thing drinking more water will do for you is add an extra trip to the bathroom. First Ladies have a long history of pet projects that usually have a social or charitable purpose. Laura Bush was a champion for women’s health, curing cancer, and preventing malaria. Barbara Bush was involved in historic preservation and literacy. Nancy Reagan had her “Just Say No” anti-drug campaign. Hilary Clinton made millions off of White Water and had Vince Foster killed. It’s no wonder Michelle Obama wanted to get in on this tradition. The reality is, that people are already drinking more water than they used to. Back in 1998 people drank 54 gallons of soda a year making it the de facto king of beverages. In present time, that number is down to 44 gallons while water is being consumed at 58 gallons per person per year. You know the First Lady is on shaky ground when the LA Times starts giving her crap. The same newspaper that assigns every reporter and editor a place on the collective Obama buttocks to affix their lips to. In an Op/Ed piece on Tuesday Johan Goldberg wrote: Although on one level it may seem as if Obama is breaking the corporate grip on our drinking habits by celebrating the original no-frills beverage, it’s more like she’s pulling a Ferris Bueller: jumping in front of a parade in progress and acting as if it were for her all along. There’s nothing more mainstream than going with the flow. Telling people to drink more water is like reminding them to breathe air. Hey, your body needs oxygen. While it’s nice that Michelle has taken a vacation from taking lavish taxpayer-funded vacations, it would be nice to see her focus her energies on a more worthy cause. I think it speaks volumes for how out of touch the Obama’s really are.
Posted on: Sun, 06 Oct 2013 07:28:34 +0000
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