These next two paragraphs, are the most difficult stories I have to write. You will understand why when you read through these paragraphs how emotionally rotten my life became in these hard years. Some of what I am about to say will sound very controvercial, but I absolutely promise that I am not going to use any filth. I will be out spoken. One Sunday in the summer of 1997, a week before I finished grade 7 in the UK, a huge surprise came my way. My dream finally came true when my parents bought me my one and only pet dog. They told me first that we were going to look at some plants and whether I can come along. Back in those days I didnt like going out places with my parents and I still dont like doing that to this day. I like to go visiting yes, but I never actually like going out shopping or to look at things with my family. Anyway, I went along with them. When we got to the shop with all the dogs, I could hardly believe my ears. We found the perfect dog to buy and friends, he was born on the exact same day as my dad. April 12. We named him Tango. He was a golden labrador. Well, the next few months having him in our house was very rough and we experienced a lot of complications. One thing I so badly regret is the way I treated Tango in those few months. I treated him horribly. I almost abused him as I complained about him, I pulled his ear to hurt him and I slapped his back side. For some reason, I then began to realize how much he meant to me and I stopped hurting him in July of 1998, a year after we got him. I would never, ever hurt a single dog or pet in my life. Tango became my companion, but he became my moms companion most importantly as she did everything for him. He did not calm down until we moved back to Canada in 1998. He jumped at people everytime they visited us and when my parents didnt let him sleep with them, he would howel and hollor at the top of his voice in the middle of the night. He stopped doing this when we moved to another house in the UK late in 1998. We all adored him. It was an awful tragedy when he had to be put down in 2006 due to liver cancer. That hit us hard. I sincerely hope in the years to come I can have another dog as that would mean a lot to me. Tango, was my little brother. He was adorable. We had so much fun when he was around us. One of the most hardest things ever, was leaving the UK in 1998 to move back to Canada. ?We lived in a diffferent city called, Mississauga, Ontario which is where we live to this day. I finally went to the school for the blind which I call, the school of hell. It became the most difficult, emotional, challenging experience I have ever had to go through in my whole life. I was borded at that school and had to put up with some of the most vitious, evil bunch of students and teachers you could ever imagine. I lived in a residence, but my first year was so diffficult there. My first English teacher was and is, the most egotistical, beligerent teacher I have ever had in my life. She was disgusting. Her name is Mrs. Fay Adams. She failed my English exam as her English class was so complicated, but see back then, I could not understand how to tell them and my family how difficult advanced subjects were at that time. This is why I absolutely never even like talking about this dad blamed school with people as it makes me so worked up and all out of my mind. Folks, I am not the first person in fact whom she failed. She failed another person too and Lord knows who else. See Friends, teachers told students not to help me in my first year. How in the world could I find my way to classes in my first year if people were asked not to help me? Some teachers even left me all alone and made me find my own way to places. It was ridiculous! Everytime somebody had to help me. It was excruciatingly deplorable. Folks, now that I look back, I realize that school for me, was a huge mistake. I had some good times though at that school, but it was to get worse and my life sunk deeper and deeper into the gutter as the years went by. I said in my introduction that I would absolutely not make a single negative remark to anybody in this book, but I am only going to make it this one exception, and it is to the stupid ridiculous bunch of horros at W. Ross McDonald school for the blind I had to put up with in my 5 years there!!! Now, remember in my third chapter how I said about good manners? Well, one of the teachers I dont know who, said in my report card in my first year there, that I was too polite!!! Can you believe how a teacher could sink so low to make such a horrible comment!!! If they did not know how being polite was, they sure had never had a good education about manners growing up Im sure! Now remember, I was innocent and still young and did not know how to speak up to these teachers and did not know how to stand up for myself properly. Now, at my first residence which was called, the intermediate residence for students before reaching their senior years in high school, I had some of the most sweetest bunch of residence councellors ever. They were beautiful. I adored them. I loved it, but it was difficult and very emotionally hard. We had rules in that residence unlike the later senior residence I stayed in for only one year which I will tell you about. I had a roommate with a gentleman who too had some problems and we didnt get along very well. In January of 1999, after I left my first rotten English teacher who failed me, again, friends and neighbours, I thought I was in love. My second English teacher was the most nicest, decent, respectable teacher I have ever had the privilage of having. Still is. She was more easier to get along with than Fay Adams. She is an absolute princess. Again, I began to have a huge crush on her romanticly. It almost makes me wonder why the principle never reported me or the students never reported me but I guess they too thought it was a normal phase. I did learn that men who have crushes on girls and women, and women who have crushes on men sink into depression. Well, no wonder I suffered and still do to this very day. My crush and romantic feelings for my teacher was what I think caused all this junk to start. You see friends, due to my depression prroblems, I have a tendency to flerrt a lot with girls and women. It is very overwhelming for me at times, gosh it’s so hard. My teacher taught me her basic English courses. I loved it. I had some really, really wonderful teachers, but I began to miss home even more and felt terribly homesick in my first year. I couldnt stand being in a residence away from my family. It was so unbearable. I stayed in the intermediate residence for two years. I then moved in September of 2000, to a residence, which I call, the residence to give people nervous breakdowns. It was the senior residence. Some of the staff there were very understanding and I got along with some of them very well, however there were 2 of them who were very nasty. Now, remember I indicated to you that I developed habits of rocking, laughing, flapping etc? I stopped doing those habits at that school at the age of 15. 15, in fact, was the year I began having these seizures and emotional problems. I was no longer hyper like I was before either which was a good thing. Most of the other blind children rocked back and forth as well, so this is a common thing for blind people and some get taught not to do that at an early age. I realized it and stopped when I was 15, which I am glad I did. Friends, if there were any type of people who I really feel so sorry for, it is for people who are developmentally disabled. God love them, they have got to have the most diffficult, challenging lives ever. At W. Ross, we had some students who were severely challenged and unable to speak normally, oh gosh was it ever difficult for them. There is a residence called, Parkside, which is for those people. My awful feelings for people with developmental disabilities did not quite start coming until I actually moved to the senior res in 2001. Regretfully, before 2001, I treated some of these students horribly. I think that is normal for young students growing up. I then began to feel very sorry for the mentally challenged students. I actually had to at times, help them with their manners and sometimes calm one of the students down. There were two mentally challenged students at the senior residence. One of them was worse as he couldn’t sit still at all or talk normally, God bless him. Some of the staff don’t treat these students nicely either, which is very sad. My heart truly goes out to those who are developmentally disabled as some of them were so badly bullied it was so awful. One of my goals in the future is to actually help those people by talking to them, councelling them, playing music for them etc. I find that mentally challenged people are the most strongest people to be around with to help. Thats my opinion. My geography teacher in my 11th grade, and again, I am going to be very up front with you about this, was an absolute jerk!!! As I mentioned to some of you, I developed a hearing problem growing up due to my norries disease. My uncle bless his heart, has it severe now than I do. Well, I wore hearing aids in school. Oneday while Bruce Tilking and yes, I am not gonna say Mr. to him as I do not respect him, taught us something in our geography class, and I did not quite hear what he said. He then very rudely snapped, Maheen? I am going to get very angry! Well, that did it. I got so angry, hurt, offended and humiliated at that horror I literally did not even speak throughout the entire lesson. Bruce obviously did not respect my problem, and I did not respect him either after that. Folks, my suicidal behaviour, and depression, began from that day forward. One of the students a week later began to fight with me and threaten me and told me she would not tolerate my garbage. That literally destroyed my life at that school. I was so suicidal and depressed, I went straight to the infirmary to speak with the most beautiful, sweetest nurse ever. She fell for me and understood how awful I was feeling. I then finally told her I am going to kill myself today. I went home straight away without any hesitations. This was in June of 2001. I began having awful nuorological spells, but at that time, my family or people around me did not know what to call them, so they refered to them as, dizzy spells. I did not start taking medication until 2004. My behaviour and sickness got worse. I was home that weekend and as you all know in schools, gossiping is very common and students go telling others how people are feeling etc. I then went back to school Sunday evenings as that is how it works when students are borded in the residences. They go Sunday evenings and start school the necxt morning. It was exam week that week so you can imagine it was very, very stressful. I cant exactly remember how many exams I was able to complete, but finally, Tuesday evening, my condition worsened. That night, I was even more suicidal and finally the residence councellors at the senior res, took me to the hospital in Brantford. The next day, right away I left W. Ross for a three month hiatus until September of 2001. That is when I told my parents I could no longer live in a residence anymore. My behaviour continued to get worse throughout those three months I stayed home. I was 16 years old, and I at last, had a girlfriend. Boy, was it ever a huge mistake. I did not have the brains back then to understand. I was having a relationship with a girl who is sadly deaf in both ears. She cant talk so she has to use sign language. Can you imagine how awful that must feel for her and her family? God love her, she is a beautiful girl. We began to have a serious relationship for 4 months from June to September of 2001. Finally oneday when we were in school in October of that year, the vice principal at that time Mrs. Lizz Dunton, caught us fooling around. I literally lost it that day. I began yelling and cussing at her and she rightfully so, called my mother. I just could not understand it all back then like I do now friends. We finally broke up and thank goodness we did as it would not have worked out at all. My life in that school became to get more and more rougher and depressing. I had another girlfriend, but that did not last long either. I began to have emotional outbursts and began to have more of those uncontrolable seizures in school. Those seizures began to make my depression and behaviour worse. See, I was not the only one in fact who had seizures at W. Ross. Some other students also had them, bless their hearts. 2002 and 2003, were my most horrible years at W. Ross. Boy, was I glad I left that miserable place in 2003. My orientation and mobility instructor, Linda Fall, even was so emotionally abusive to me one day. That is what us blind people are taught to learn their way around places. One morning, I did not listen to the weather forecast before arriving for school due to me being in such a rush and as much as I tried to tell her politely, she began to run all over me and then she said something which finally made me realize that these people who work for the blind, are the most abusive, uncaring, heartless, cantankerous bunch of idiots ever. She said to me, without listening to your country music and making yourself all hot you must listen to the weather. Now! if anyone said that to me now, I would literally knock their teeth out and break them and get their butts out of my distants! I did not have mobility in my last year of school due to that incident. I told the principal that mobility instructors who work for the blind are a definite no no to ill people. I was happier living at home. Folks, I never graduated. I could not graduate at such a rotten school. How could I? It was pitiful. Yes, I was happy, but it was not to be for long. End of chapter 5.
Posted on: Wed, 16 Oct 2013 09:05:04 +0000