They Cant All Be Gems, Folks! Here are my Top 20 jokes from 2014 - you may have noticed them in your news feed. Which ones do you like the best? 1. New from Apple: The iChasm. A gaping hole in the ground where users simply toss their money. 2. People who try to play God often fail to realize how many people dont believe in them. 3. Oh sure, when a cat chases a laser pointer everyone calls it cute. When I do it everyone calls it disruptive in meetings. 4. Million-Dollar Idea: Toobr - An Uber-like service, but with potatoes and yams. Well figure out the details after the first round of funding. 5. ...just told my computer that its my birthday, and it said that I needed an upgrade. 6. I thought having a song I didnt like stuck in my head was bad enough. Then I had the Fargo accent trapped in there for a while. 7. Gas is so cheap Ive started using it to wash my Prius. 8. The least popular transformer was Touchy who turned into a white windowless van. 9. Recently bought a pair of polarizing sunglasses. People either love them or hate them. 10. Life is short. Might as well treat yourself to fresh underpants. 11. Just met a woman who isnt sure why she doesnt eat meat. Shes a Vaguean. 12. Just applied to the University of Nuts, where they put the academia in macadamia. 13. I only read science magazines for the particles. 14. Hopefully this new Godzilla movie is historically accurate. 15. Fun fact: The phrase typographical error was shortened to typo to cut down on spelling mistakes. 16. Be happy for what you have, especially if what you have is dessert. :-) 17. Had to stop using this astral projection app. The roaming charges were killing me! 18. Whenever I hear a person say theyve married their best friend, I wonder what the SPCA would have to say about that. 19. This library book about condensation is overdew. 20. A ___________ walks into a bar, so the bartender says why the long space? Tied for 20th place were:: - I feel a disturbance in the force. Its like millions of geeks just saw the new Star Wars trailer and had to change their pants. - So... if the Monkees werent too busy singing, would they be spending their time putting people down? - Serves me right for going with a law firm called Cheatem and Howe. - A strictly Platonic relationship is where you watch shadows in a dark cave with people, but when you meet in daylight, they kill you. Right? - ...wants an insulin pump but for caffeine.
Posted on: Fri, 26 Dec 2014 21:31:09 +0000
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