They walk among us! HELLO, OPERATOR! - Actual call centre conversations! Customer: Ive been calling 700-1000 for two days and cant get through; can you help? Operator: Where did you get that number, sir? Customer: Its on the door of your business. Operator: Sir, those are the hours that we are open. +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ Samsung Electronics Caller: Can you give me the telephone number for Jack? Operator: Im sorry, sir, I dont understand who you are talking about. Caller: On page 1, section 5, of the user guide it clearly states that I need to unplug the fax machine from the AC wall socket and telephone Jack before cleaning. Now, can you give me the number for Jack? Operator: I think it means the telephone plug on the wall. ---------------------------------------------------------------------- RAC Motoring Services Caller: Does your European Breakdown Policy cover me when I am traveling in Australia ? Operator: Does the policy name give you a clue? ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Caller (enquiring about legal requirements while traveling in Europe ) If I register my car in France, and then take it to England, do I have to change the steering wheel to the other side of the car? ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Directory Enquiries Caller: Id like the number of the Argo Fish Bar, please Operator: Im sorry, theres no listing. Are you sure that the spelling is correct? Caller: Well, it used to be called the Bargo Fish Bar but the B fell off. ------------------ ---------------------------------------------------- Then there was the caller who asked for a knitwear company in Woven. Operator: Woven? Are you sure? Caller: Yes.. Thats what it says on the label -- Woven in Scotland ... ---------------------------------------------------------------------- On another occasion, a man making heavy breathing sounds from a phone box told a worried operator: I havent got a pen, so Im steaming up the window to write the number on. ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Tech Support: I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop. Customer: OK. Tech Support: Did you get a pop-up menu? Customer: No. Tech Support: OK. Right-Click again. Do you see a pop-up menu? Customer: No. Tech Support: OK, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until this point? Customer: Sure. You told me to write click and I wrote click. ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Tech Support: OK. At the bottom left hand side of your screen, can you see the OK button displayed? Customer: Wow! How can you see my screen from there? ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Caller: I deleted a file from my PC last week and I just realized that I need it. So, if I turn my system clock back two weeks will I get my file back again? ---------------------------------------------------------------------- This has to be one of the funniest things in a long time. I think this guy should have been promoted, not fired. This is a true story from the WordPerfect Helpline, which was transcribed from a recording monitoring the customer care department............... Needless to say the Help Desk employee was fired; however, he/she is currently suing the WordPerfect organization for Termination without Cause.. Actual dialogue of a former WordPerfect Customer Support employee. (Now I know why they record these conversations!): Operator: Ridge Hall, computer assistance; may I help you? Caller: Yes, well, Im having trouble with WordPerfect . Operator: What sort of trouble?? Caller: Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away. Operator: Went away? Caller: They disappeared Operator: Hmm. So what does your screen look like now? Caller: Nothing. Operator: Nothing?? Caller: Its blank; it wont accept anything when I type. Operator: Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out? Caller: How do I tell? Operator: Can you see the C: prompt on the screen? Caller: Whats a sea-prompt? Operator: Never mind, can you move your cursor around the screen? Caller: There isnt any cursor; I told you, it wont accept anything I type.. Operator: Does your monitor have a power indicator?? Caller: Whats a monitor? Operator: Its the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it have a little light that tells you when its on? Caller: I dont know... Operator: Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord goes into it.. Can you see that?? Caller: Yes, I think so. Opera tor: Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if its plugged into the wall.. Caller: Yes, it is. Operator: When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one? Caller: No.... Operator: Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other cable. Caller: Okay, here it is. Operator: Follow it for me, and tell me if its plugged securely into the back of your computer.. Caller: I cant reach. Operator: OK. Well, can you see if it is? Caller: No.. Operator: Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over? Caller: Well, its not because I dont have the right angle -- its because its dark. Operator: Dark? Caller: Yes - the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from the window. Operator: Well, turn on the office light then. Caller: I cant. Operator: No? Why not? Caller: Because theres a power failure. Operator: A power ..... A power failure? Aha. Okay, weve got it licked now. Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff that your computer came in? Caller: Well, yes, I keep them in the closet.. Operator: Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it from. Caller: Really? Is it that bad? Operator: Yes, Im afraid it is. Caller: Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them? Operator: Tell them youre too stupid to own a computer!
Posted on: Fri, 31 Oct 2014 16:11:17 +0000
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