Theyre Back! Those wonderful Church Bulletins! Thank God for the church ladies with typewriters. These sentences actually appeared in church bulletins or were announced at church services: The Fasting & Prayer Conference includes meals. -------------------------- Scouts are saving aluminium cans, bottles and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children. -------------------------- The sermon this morning: Jesus Walks on the Water. The sermon tonight:Searching for Jesus. -------------------------- Ladies, dont forget the rummage sale. Its a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Bring your husbands. -------------------------- Dont let worry kill you off - let the Church help. -------------------------- Miss Charlene Mason sang I will not pass this way again, giving obvious pleasure to the congregation. -------------------------- For those of you who have children and dont know it, we have a nursery downstairs. -------------------------- Next Thursday there will be try-outs for the choir. They need all the help they can get. -------------------------- Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days. -------------------------- A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music will follow.... -------------------------- At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be What Is Hell? Come early and listen to our choir practice. -------------------------- Eight new choir robes are currently needed due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones. -------------------------- Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person you want remembered... -------------------------- The church will host an evening of fine dining, super entertainment and gracious hostility. -------------------------- Pot-luck supper Sunday at 5:00 PM - prayer and medication to follow. -------------------------- The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind. They may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon. -------------------------- This evening at 7 PM there will be a hymn singing in the park across from the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin. -------------------------- The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the Congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday -------------------------- Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM . Please use the back door. -------------------------- The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeares Hamlet in the Church basement Friday at 7 PM .. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy -------------------------- Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use large double door at the side entrance. -------------------------- And this one just about sums them all up: The Associate Minister unveiled the churchs new campaign slogan last Sunday: I Upped My Pledge - Up Yours.
Posted on: Mon, 24 Mar 2014 22:54:46 +0000
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